A
male
age
30-35,
*yrys
writes:So I am a crossdresser and I really love doing it. I have a nice collection of clothes and shoes, etc. Mostly I have done it at home when nobody is around. My girlfriend whom I live with knows about it, and is very supportive of this whih makes my life easier with the exception of one part that caused a intense discussion between eachother. Silicone breasts, and bras. For her the idea alone makes her very uncomfortable. She is a local supporter of our LGBT community and so indidnt think she would mind it. I need help understanding her viewpoint, gettin her to undertand mine, and why it hurt so much for me ( to the point of tears) to be rejected and ideas of what I can do. I dont feel complete without it the upperbody set, but at the same time I don't want to be a problem. Any thoughts?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 She may feel that crossdressing is okay for other people but not her boyfriend. Too close for comfort. For me, if I have a reason to be bothered by it, it's because instead of creativity, freedom of expression, wanting to meld into the other gender, I see pain, addiction, not content with oneself, a compulsion, and wanting attention and approval for what one does. Of course she is the only one who get give you an accurate answer.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (24 September 2014):
Dear OP,
I am not sure why your girlfriend is uncomfortable, but maybe it could be that for her, if you try to look realistically like a woman, she will question your gender identity. Maybe she loves you as a man, and she tolerates the cross-dressing.. but she is uncomfortable with the idea of you slowly turning into a woman yourself, because after all, she loves you as you are now and doesn't want you to change that much.
Please don't just give up your wishes and desires in order to not cause any problems. Because in the end, this creates silent suffering in a relationship and takes away the true affection. Ask for an explanation, be empathic and try to understand. But also.. don't renounce to everything, just to keep the peace. It's important that you can develop in a relationship, and if it's not possible, if you're restrained, then you will feel frozen on the inside.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 September 2014):
 Have you told her how you feel?
Personally, (and this is only a guess) I don't think she really gets WHY you crossdress. I think she ok with "just" the clothes but when you add boobs/bra it becomes less "dress up" and more like you WANT to be a woman. If that makes sense. She want to date a MAN, not man wanting to BE a woman. That is my guess.
BUT you need to ASK her. Because SHE might have a WHOLE other reason as to why that is just "too much" for her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2014): Is it possible that your girlfriend feels less feminine in herself when you wear these items? Could she feel as though you need these items to replace what she already has?
There are a range of reasons she could feel uncomfortable with the situation, but at the end of the day, you are the one who is cross-dressing and you should be happy with the way you look and feel. Perhaps try talking to her about the issue and explain that you feel you need to wear these items because it makes you feel the way you feel when you do it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you're doing and if she is understanding and accepting of your clothing choices then she should also understand the extra additions that make you happy because at the end of the day, you can't pick and choose what to accept and what not to accept if it is all a part of someone's person.
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