A
male
age
36-40,
*emesis1984
writes:Right i am in abit of a dilemma, i have been with my partner for just over for years and have 2 children 1 at 2 years and 1 at 1 year. Since the 1 years old has been born, and maybe before that i have done a lot of the house work and have tried speaking to her about it to get her help, but things change for maybe a week or so and then return back to how they were before and now after maybe 3 coming upto nearly 2 years i am beginning to get a bit tired of being the mum and dad so it feels like im not getting any time to myself. what can i do to try and put things right as im sure i still love her and want to make things work out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Maybe she is suffering from a bit of post natal depression. This happened to me after the birth of my children and it made me feel that I had no energy and couldn't be bothered with anything which left my poor husband to do everything. Also having a baby can make you feel so tired that all you really want to do is be left alone to sleep. My husband did all the meals and the feeds when he wasn't at work and I did very little other than just sitting around. This led to a very bad situation with us. He resented me and I couldn't understand why he couldn't see how I felt. This was the beginning of the end for us. In hindsight I wished I had listened to what he had to say instead of just brushing it under the carpet.I suggest you sit down with your partner when she is not tired and tell her that you are finding it difficult having to do everything. Maybe suggest to her that she goes back to the doctor to see if she could be a bit depressed esp after having 2 children so close together- but obviously phrase this bit as sensitively as you can! She may or may not be open to this but ensure it is a quiet time when you raise this conversation. Tell her how much you love her and want to help but you feel that you are getting no time to yourself. It is very hard and tiring looking after two such young children. All other soughts of things can also come into play like if she is breat feeding, hormonal, may or may not feel as attractive as she did if she has put on weight during the pregnancies and is finding it hard to shift, all these kinds of things can come into play. My guess is she is just very tired. I would raise your concerns sooner rather than later nd try to convince her to get some profesional help.
All the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): It takes two people to want a relationship together, But to make your life easier would having an au-pair help with the babies, perhaps your wife is depressed and needs to see a professional for help. Her coping skills sound like they aren't working for her. If you continue to shoulder the burden of the entire family it will leave you feeling worn out and could end up with a split further down the road. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your family. i hope this helps in some way.
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