A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 year's old and i my whole life I've only had one girlfriends, and it was not very serious. Over the past year i have been able to talk to girls a lot better but i still struggle with talking altogether because I'm a bit shy and what you would call a 'nice' guy so i get walked all over. I also struggle very much when it comes to forgetting about people who had either dumped me or rejected me. I am really bad at getting with girls as you can imagine so far and my friends try to help me with setting me up with girls but in the past it has completely failed. I have always been upset with my self because of this and I was wondering could anyone give me any help and support on what I can do to solve my problems so I can finally get a serious girlfriend.Btw I'm tall, slim and not bad looking.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): First Baby Doll, you need to find some confidence. I am married to what you would call a geek or nerd, and I am what you would have called one of the popular girls. And why did I fall in love with him? Well, he had lots of confidence, and he made me laugh, and laugh and laugh. We have been married almost 10 years now, and he is still a geek....but I love him all the more for it. Don't ever let a girl walk all over you, you are worth so much more than that. When the right time comes, you will find a girl who will love you will all your weirdness and all. Don't give up my love. She is out there. Just wait. I'll keep you in my prayers, and I know the Lords will, will be done.
A
female
reader, Alj +, writes (24 June 2008):
Dont try so much to get with a girl everytime just try to be friends with her first and you will both be better off in the long run!
You might just be looking in the wrong places or for the wrong type of girl! So right a list of everything that appeals to you in a girl and look for those qualities (i do it to :P)
And your still young you have plenty of time to find the perfect girl so i wouldnt worry too much! Just try to have fun and the right girl will come to you! girls actually quite like the shy guy
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A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (23 June 2008):
 well, I could help here, as I am in much of a similar position. Am 15 and have never had a girlfriend in my life.
The best thing I could recommend, is wait for who you think is the right person. I once liked a girl and it turned out she was a total b****: she and her friends found out I liked her and pestered me constantly. It's not nice. So it's a good idea to make sure the person you like is a nice person first, else you'll regret it.
Other than that, there's nothing I can say that will help tons eg: get you a partner. But sometimes you have to be patient with these things: unless there's something obviously wierd about you, there is nothing stopping you getting in a relationship other than your own nerves and a little bad luck.
It would help if you were friends with this your partner first, as you would have known her longer. So, if you're sick and tired of waiting, try and find matches within your friends?
Otherwise, the best course of action is to wait until the right person comes along. I hope this helped you.
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A
female
reader, bday121  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Well, try to pick the right girls. Nice girls will not walk all over you. Go for the shy, quiet type of girls. They're usually the most interesting, nice, and willing to open up, as long as you have patience. Those loud, outgoing, popular type of girls (stereotypically) are more asseritve, cruel, and yes, abusive in that they'll take advantage of you. They're also more likely to be harsh in their criticisms and take relationships less seriously. Try to judge girls before you talk to them, and get an idea of what kind of personality you want in a girl.
I know it's hard, but you most move on from the past. So a few girls didn't like you? So what! There's 3 billion more out there! Don't let a couple of bad experiences get you down.
If you're having problems with getting a girlfriend, I really don't know what they are. Do you think you might come across as clingy or dependent? Do you think girls might percieve you as desperate? Those are things to think about. Since you are a nice-looking guy it must be either A) They're not the right type of girls, or B)You're doing something that's weirding them out. No offense, but I want to be realistic. Just look at yourself and your past and see if there's anything you've done repeatedley, any pattern that keeps coming up, that turns girls away from you. Maybe there's nothing at all that you're doing wrong, but you'll have to figure that out, because I don't know.
For now I think you should really just relax. Seriously, I find that when people actively look for a bf/gf, they settle for people below their standards and it doesn't work out. Try to concentrate on something else for a while. You're only 17, you have so much time ahead of you. I can guarantee that you'll have plenty of relationships in the future. So for now just take it easy and wait for the perfect girl to appear in your life. If she's the right girl for you then it'll work out.
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A
male
reader, CageWarrior  +, writes (23 June 2008):
Hello.
The answer to your problem is; attitude / confidence( not too much cause then you'll be considered cocky )
That's all you need. You have to learn to have the right attitude about whatever situation you might face. Rejection is not new to you, so why be afraid of it. Going into something you can't drown your mind with the negative, if you do that you've already failed. Don't worry about looking for a girlfriend, right now you have to learn to be comfortable with women. Once you can do that then they'll be comfortable with you and then natural feelings come out.
The secret to doing that is to change your attitude hence your mentality.
You need to approach a girl with a careless attitude. You do that by talking to girls like you would your friends ( without the pervert comments or too much sports ) They'll see you on a different platform making them realize that you're a cool guy that is approachable... BUT. you don't want to over do it with the niceness cause then you'll get stuck in the 'friendzone' But if one thinks your cool the other will think you're funny and one will eventually think you're cute. Girls talk alot. So you have to be able to make them feel comfortable at the same time reminding them that you are a man and they need to look at you in that way ( that didnt come out right but i hope you get my drift )
How you do that, well for example.
boy- hey "amanda" how are you today ?
girl- ok
boy- good to know, by the way those jeans are looking real good on you. Have fun in class I'll talk to you later.
DONE.. She won't know what hit her and for some unbeknownst reason to her she'll be thinking about you all day..
there's so much more to explain, I hope this little bit helped you a little. so let me know if you have any more questions.
Cheers.
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