A
female
age
30-35,
*iss mermaid27
writes:Hi I'm just looking for advice I'm a 27 year old female and I have never been in a relationship I'm also a Virgin. I just seem invisible to men or only the wrong ones I'm at the age all my friends are settled down and having babies and I can't help but feel left out. I just long to have someone who wants me and loves me.I am by no means desperate at all ans never have been but recently it's all taking its toll on me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 September 2017):
 If he has a GF I would back away... you can do it slowly if you wish, make little "I was so busy" excuses and then cut the contact little by little.
You wouldn't want to be the GF of a guy who is chatting up other girls, do you? And you don't want to be THAT girl who throws herself at a guy WITH A GF.... right?
He probably knows you like him more than a friend and he is ENJOYING the ego-rubs from you, the attention and affection but really... he has NOTHING to offer you. Because he HAS a GF already. So don't waste your time on unavailable guys like that.
Or maybe that is exactly why you are attracted to him. Because you can't have him. So you "love" from afar making a whole little "if only" fantasy. If only he didn't have a GF... If only I could tell him... But he DOES have a GF. And he KNOWS you like him more than friends yet he is STILL with his GF. NOT you. I'm not saying this to knock you but living in la-la land isn't helping you finding someone for you.
Are you dealing with the anxiety? The depression? Or are you hoping it will just eventually go away? Because it won't. The sooner you deal with it HEAD ON, the sooner you can start living the life you WANT to live.
Start with working on your mental health and add some exercise to that. Exercise helps a LOT with feeling better. I've been there. Start out slow, go on bike rides (if you have a bike) or a long walk daily. Then after a while maybe join some Yoga or a gym - TRUST me on this. Exercise works better than most meds. (not saying you shouldn't talk to a doctor, therapist etc or try meds) but add exercise. I have 7 miles to the beach from my house. I LOVE to go, I bring a bottle of water and my camera. It's 14 miles there and back. And I feel a million times better after the ride. If it rains I work out in the gym in the basement. If I feel lazy - I work out in the basement... But I try not to skip.
You have to find you and what makes you HAPPY before you can find a guy who is a good match. Someone who can ADD to your life - not someone who would add drama - like your "friend".
A
female
reader, Miss mermaid27 +, writes (23 September 2017):
Miss mermaid27 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replys and advice. I do socialise and have loads of friends I'm also in a local drama group which I go to twice a week where I have plenty of friends. However one guy I've liked a long time I know he likes me too but he has a girlfriend but texts me every single day I can't help it because I feel so comfortable around him I suffer from anxiety and depression also Which makes things harder for me but I really like him but don't want to be made a fool out of i know it's wrong but. ??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2017): I was in my mid 40s when I lost my virginity! Lol
So don't feel so bad or beat yourself up!
You are okay. There's nothing wrong with you. We are all different and there is nothing wrong with being different.
The right moment or opportunity hasn't come up yet for you. But it will when you least expect it and let your guard down. And it will be all the more special.
Just keep busy doing the things you love and being happy.
I believe you will meet the right man where you find your passions in life. Follow them!
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 I agree with previous posters. Get out and meet lots of new people. It's the only way of meeting someone you really want, and who wants you. You are still young so plenty of time, but some proactive work will hopefully pay dividends! I wish you all the luck in the world x
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (20 September 2017):
I think it's time for you to find a guy for you.It's very easy for a girl to get lost in either school and work, and completely ignore their emotional side.Like you say, you should not be desperate since it's not OK to let just anyone in your life. You need to find some one you can trust and you can count on.Try joining a sport or a club, you'll find a lot of guys if you put yourself out there.
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (20 September 2017):
 Honeypie gave some great advice, I say follow it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2017):
OP, do you socialize? Go out with friends, co-workers, family?
Do you have hobbies?
Or do you keep more to yourself?
If you were to describe yourself - what would you say?
When you say "only the "wrong" men seem interested. Why were these men "wrong"?
Are you hoping that the "right" man will see you and instantly know to pursue you?
If you feel invisible when around men is that because you DO NOT interact with them? Join in the conversation?
As you can see I have more questions than answers because it's impossible to say WHY you are still by yourself without know just a little about you.
The perfect guy is not going to come through your mail slot or knock on your door. You HAVE to participate in social activities and interactions. It doesn't mean you have to be a social butterfly all of a sudden but you do have let people around you know that you are approachable.
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