A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 16 year old guy, i'm tubby, not fat just tubby.I feel self-concious whenever i see girls around.I keep thinking that they are freaked out by me or something, i'm not exactly the confident type. My philosphy is " i'm fat and i'm ugly to to hell with you! ", That usually works for me. I don't care about what most people think. But after i saw the girl that lives down the street in the mall the other day, i have a major crush on her.I will literally sit by her house just hoping to see her. My question is, now that you have got some background on me is, how do i talk to this wonderful siren who steals my heart with a single look? How do i get the courage to look her in the eye, let alone talk to her?Please help me.Thanks.
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female
reader, The Shadow's Tears  +, writes (1 June 2009):
 Sweetie, that's a beautiful was to describe her. it really seems as if you like her a lot. but what i can say, from being a female, is you seem like a wonderful person, and i'm sure she'll see that if you just show her you want to get to know her.
now i wouldn't advise on spilling your love to her as soon as you meet, or it might freak her out. start with saying something like "Hi, my names ______, i live down the street." or something like that. see her reaction, and go with it. and always remember, that if people can't accept you for you, then there not worth your time and love. you seem like an amazing guy and you'll find that perfect girl, and i hope that shes the girl of your dreams.
and you shouldn't be nervous around girls, we're not going to bite your head off or anything. granted some women are mean, but those are the lady's you don't need to be hanging with in the first time.
i hope this helps, i really want to see you happy.
X: love Shadow Tears
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Dude you're setting yourself up for a major disappointment! You have to meet and talk to like 200 different girls, over time,to finally find one that is really right for you AND that thinks you're cool. Stalking the 'girl next door' just makes you look really bad and doesn't help your odds of finding someone.
I do like your philosophy- you shouldn't care what everyone else thinks. But you also need to find have a philosophy where you're not overweight (and most americans are) and where you don't lack confidence. (BTW:I was real skinny and tall and had the same problems as you with girls).So..
Yes, you also have to eat better, lose that "tubbiness" but you also have to adjust your outlook on things.
Join a gym and pick-up at least one real sport where you have to move around a bit. (Ping Pong or Golf dont count) Avoid the tv and the web. Don't eat those high fat foods and meals that most of us are fed.
Then, or simultaneously, get a job or join an organization where you are exposed to lots of girls. After a while you will feel more comfortable there, and if you try hard- you'll start losing that fat and your confidence will build automatically.
Here's an example a loner who sits at home snacking and getting fatter playing Halo, who works as a mechanic and finally becomes a computer programmer will not meet as many girls as would a guy who runs track (co-ed), works at the mall, volunteers to help injured animals and later becomes an elementary school teacher.
Now in regards to talking to her.....despite what everyone might tell you your odds of really impressing a decent girl by just walking up to her and talking to her are 5% and that's even if you are strong and handsome and can talk the talk. You have a better chance if you and your friends somehow become friends with her and her friends. If not you should try to get someone to introduce you and let her know you'd like to be friends. And do try to become a friend! not a love-sick hormonal guy. Either way you'll get to know her better and can find out if she has a boyfriend, if she likes you, if she likes older men (most girls like someone a few years older), if she has a crush on someone else, what type of guys she likes and what she wants, not just what you want. (If it all seems unlikely to happen hence having to talk to like 200 girls to meet one that is good for you- as stated above)
P.S. Sirens were half birds that would trick men to cause them to die or to eat them. Nymph is more appro. but sounds too much like nympho. So use a better reference (goddess, beaut, rose, sweetheart.)
Good Luck
Billy
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A
female
reader, carolinecooper +, writes (29 March 2008):
 Hi!
I'm a girl of 15 and i know it's difficult to find love or be with somebody.I don't know why,but appearance is the first thing that a boy or a girl sees to the opposite sex.I think the most important thing is love and to be turned on by a person.If you really find this girl attractive,you need to go and say her.Maybe you'll discover that you love the same things:music,ideas,school,colors,...i've got a friend,an ungly friend (girl).She is always alone and she doesn't have fun with us coz' she's shy and she isn't confident.We try to ask her what she likes or who she loves but her answer is "Nothing".It's sad for her,i can't do anything!!! Your personality is important,who you are,what you like and your qualities...! Maybe a girl won't fall in love with you coz' you're beautiful,she'll fall in love with you because you're beautiful inside :)
I know that everybody dream about the perfect girl or the perfect boy,she or he is probably real,but where can you find her/him??? For the moment,you can just have fun with girls or have a long relationship before you'll find the soulmate ;)
I hope I have helped you!!!!
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A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (29 March 2008):
 Hello,If your self concious about your weight the best thing you can do is enroll at a gym and make a regular trip there, say once or twice a week to start.If your too shy for gyms why not pay out (roughly) £15 on a set of weights and do sit ups ect at night.With this girl, just make casual contact, E.g say hi when coming out of your house when you see her etc.Hope this helps,All the best,Jin
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Hi Hunny
First your not fat and ugly!!!!!got it mate!!!!(:0)
Im going to send you some links hunny to work on your confidence and also hunny I no you said you usually say "To hell with you" well thats not working now so lets see if we can get you to heaven eh!!!!!!!!
http://menshealth.about.com/od/psychologicalissues/a/Self_Confidence.htm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/nutrition/
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/body_and_mind/29_better_living.html
Now I no your only 16 so you can start slowly getting that confidence hunny and then after you have done abit of homework you will have to fight those girls off (:0) never put yourself down love get to that gym and read these links and give yourself a goal sweetheart...TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND SQUIDGY HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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