A
female
age
51-59,
*hellycg
writes:Hi Guys , well its been a while since ive been on here, had lots going on in my life mostly positive but also I have had alot of family issues....As i have previously written about my sister, she got married this year and me and my partner did not get an invite, (i know i dont see eye to eye but for one day) is it unreasonable for us to expect a invite? it seems that now I have the same problem with my mum, it started last week when she FORGOT my sons birthday !! she went on holiday and when I reminded her of it, she had a real go saying i should have reminded her ??? she also said i was bullying her?? ( my children actually live with their dad) but i do see them all of the time, and dont understand her anger towards me, however, all she seems to do is favouritise my sister, she is always round there, ive got along with my mum for a year, been nice, no negative comments, helped her with things... and she has only seen me once at my house, im constantly trying to make her proud of me, with no avail, she critisises my weight, my hair, my choice in clothes and also the people who I choose to have in my life, she once said, she could say anything to me and she would be friends with me the next day??? My sister and her are even saying the same things, they both accuse me of bullying when infact all im doing is sticking up for myself, they also try to impose themselves on me saying that they are coming to sort my finances out !! my mum has helped me out financially in the past, and whenever we have words like last week she brings it up saying that, shes always forking out, which isnt true, when my ex partner left he left me in £9000 debt and two small children, with £9 to my name...! and its almost like she regrets ever helping me out financially, she lies to me and says things that arnt true and then I find out off other people. Also I found a letter from my step dad to my mum about my sister, saying that my sister would ruin this family...Im 42 years of age and still i feel like I have to fit her criteria, I have tried to impress her, tried to make her see that i am worthy and all the time she is notinterested, she also has said things about my partner cross dressing and said really cruel nasty things and given everyone the opinion instead of my family coming to me, even my dad now is starting to not speak with me.. where am I going wrong? this is just the tip of the iceberg .... I feel like im going mad...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): Hi there!
Must be tough having family issues.
I only give advise to people whom I can relate with.
Everyone must have family issues at some point and time in their life.
What your going through is something I have also experienced.
Growing up with 5 siblings is not easy. My dad is best when it comes to playing his role as a dad. He tried his very best when it comes to being fair.
But parents are not perfect. Being a girl, I could say I was his favorite. But time changed. When I graduated from college, I saw the gap between us.
It started when I messed u with my credit card bills. I was 18 when my dad allowed me to have my own card. I was so irresponsible, I love shopping using that plastic card he gave me.
But he is the one who pays for it. Just like your mom when you had a problem, with finances, you said she helped you.
After that irresponsible incident with the card, my dad got really mad at me. Things had never been the same.
From that moment I noticed a lot of things, that He treats everyone fairly, when it comes to basic needs, but HE HAS HIS FAVORITES. I am not one of his favorites.
I thought where is justice? Or maybe I am missing something.
But at the end of the day, I realized PARENTS might have favorites, but it doesn't mean that they LOVE you LESS.
NO. You are her daughter. you came from her. YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE that SPECIAL PLACE IN HER HEART that even your sister can't take away from you.
But you have to accept, that parents does have favorites. its such a shame but that's the way it is. Your 42, your old enough to understand. I guess what you need to do, is try to make your life more productive.
Get busy with work or other things than this family issues you have, it would be hard if you live with them but if you have your own place, (just like me I get to see my family once a month or twice a month)its a lot easier.
The way you dress up, your love life and your hair is none of their business. As long as your managing your life well, they should just accept and love you as you are. If you think they can't, Maybe you need a little distance.
Then get to see and hear from them less than normal. Maybe it would make a difference. It did to me, when i do visit my family we always have a happy conversation. maybe it will work for you too.
Good luck. Most of all PRAY.
Don't think too much. Your MOM loves you for SURE.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 August 2013):
 I think there is only one "salient" phrase, or sentence, in your submittal. It is this:
"...Im 42 years of age and still i feel like I have to fit her criteria...."
Focus upon overcoming that, and you will find that all the drama that you've delineated will, magically, melt away. Only YOU can live your life... and you can only live your life FOR YOU!!!!!
Good luck.....
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