A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I am a very young looking 41 year ol woman and last week met a stunning guy of just 27 in a bar whilst I was out with some work colleagues. There was an instant attraction. I was tipsy, and before long we were kissing and flirting. He asked me for my number - and I texted him . He has asked me to meet him agin this friday. This is not my usual behaviour - but I had had some wine, and we liked each other!! anyway . my workmates are up for going there again too, but one of the male ones said my behaviour was pornographic, and not fitting for a woman of 41. Anyway, my question is this. I really want to settle down and meet a guy who wants a proper relationship, live with him, get married etc, but I also need sex and a male companion somtimes, as I get lonely, although I have a good social life, and sometimes, need someone around at home too occassionlly. I met a young guy last year, and had a fling with him. I got hurt, but it worked out ok in th end, and I am over it now. There has been nobidy I have liked since then up until now.I am now wondering if I should get involved with this guy at all though. He is handsome, confident, and quite sexy, but I know he will not be able to offer me a relationship - and i could have some fun with him which I need in my life right now, but I feel guilty about it. Infact, my main emotion about this is guilt. and I am also worried I might get hurt. it;s not very often that I meet guys I like - and I am very attracted to this one. Is it ok to have some fun while I am looking for the 'right one'? or do you think this might delay things so to speak? I am also worried about getting hurt. I do want to have some fun, but I guess I'll need to detach? but that might not be fair on him. Further more - he sees a mixture of being a ladies and a really sweet guy, plus I did not give him a chance to contact me first - so even though he asked me for my number at the bar- I will never know if he would have contacted me, as he only asked me to meet him at the same bar agin this week afterI contcated him. What to do?!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHI all, Thank you so much for your lovely and positive answers!!! You are right !! I should and will not listen to her - and will only listen to you guys!!LOL
I am going to take a completley different tact with her, and cool the 'freindship' right off. I don;t need people like that in my life. Life is short - I'm going to enjoy it. :o) hope you all do to. Thanks again. natxxx
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 She definitely might be jealous. Sounds like a typical reaction from an insecure person. She's trying to make herself feel better by putting you down and trying to make you feel worse about yourself. And she continues to go out with you because if she was alone she wouldn't have anybody else around to put down to make herself feel better.
Go for the younger guy and don't let her bother you. You don't need anybody telling you what you should or shouldn't do. Except us. lol :-)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 April 2010):
Maybe she's jealous.
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (14 April 2010):
 she is clearly jealous that at 41 you are still attractive and still clearly a turn on to men, jealousy is a very unpleasant trait in a person. she is green eyed with envy that you can go out, have fun, pull men, and get on with your life. just ignore her, probably avoid spending time with her as she just seems to want to put you down. keep enjoying yourself and dont let someone elses bitterness drag down your self esteem!!best of luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, Thank you for your nice answers. Now a female collegue who came out with me that night is having a go at me, saying that she would be too ashamed to introduce me to her freinds, as I am too overpowering, and that I should not have kissed this young guy .But she also keeps asking me out to go to places with her. She also said I go on too much, cannot take a joke etc etc. I siad that if she doesn;t want me to be freinds with her, that's fine, I am not desperate. She said that I need to get some 'culture' etc. I think she is very abrasive, and just dresses it well. I also stated that I am not used to these kinds of course and abrasive freindships, and she said that all my freindships must be short lived, as i am this and that - but she stil wants to go out with me... what the hell is wrong with her? I like her but do not have the energy for these kinds of abrasive relationships.....what's her problem?
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (13 April 2010):
you should definately enjoy yourself and have fun, who knows when mr right will turn up? just be honest with yourself about the nature of the relationship and that it is just a bit of fun and hopefully you can avoid getting hurt.
best of luck x
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (13 April 2010):
Don't let anybody tell you what is fitting for a woman of 41. Go for it. Have fun, live a little. Who cares if he may or may not have called you first? If you start worrying about that, then the relationship is already WAY to serious for you.
There's nothing wrong with dating this younger guy while you wait for Mr Right. And who knows, after enough time he may actually be Mr. Right... (improbable... but not impossible)
Have fun, and don't think too much. And as a guy around 30 myself I can tell you you are NOT old. Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): First of all, the guy who called your behavior "pornographic" is probably sexually frustrated and wishes there were a little more pornographic behavior in his own life.Second, I can't imagine what you have to feel guilty about. Sounds like you both are probably looking for some easygoing fun and will not end up hurting each other. Get it on!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 April 2010):
So long as you understand that it will most likely only be fun, then go for it! But the moment you feel you're getting too close and you think you will end up really hurt, end it.
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