A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I work in a super market and two of the other staff have told me that I have an admirer. It is said that she is only 18 and I'm 38 and work with her mum who knows about it as she has told me hersself. I dont know what i shoud do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): I find it strange her mum told you, unless she expects you to find it sweet like she has a school girl crush on you. I'm 19 myself and honestly, I really cannot understand what she see in a guy your age, no offence! But she's old enough, to date you if she wants. I believe girls that date guys that old have daddy issues
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): I just want to apologize...obviously no one agreed with my answer, but I still think dating an 18 year old when you are 38 is asking for trouble.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): Hi there. Double M is right. Look we don't know her, we don't know you. There is a lot of mature thinking 18 year olds out there and a lot of 'youthful' older men. You guys may just click. She is of legal adult age and how you approach this, is up to you. She's at the age where she can make her choices, and if you find yourself interested in her, then go for it. So no one can tell you that you are being silly or that this potential age gap relationship is wrong.
However, I will say there are some young women who do get infatuated easily at this age, with many guys, depending on their level of life experience and maturity. And sometimes these infatuations do just run their course and fizzle out, quickly. She's likely just now, getting her feet wet in the adult world, whereas you have been living and existing, as an adult for some 20 years, now. There could be some very startling, differing life values, here. Or you could be a perfect match. We just don't know, do we. It also appears if her own Mother has mentioned this, then it seems you won't have any of her family, blocking your way. But please, keep a good head on your shoulders, and realize, you are at a more settled life stage than she is. She really does need to live, have fun, create and develop her young life. I find many young women do this 'learning about life' all through their 20's.
But if you like her and want to give this a whirl. then the only way to do it, is to approach her. In time you will find out more about her maturity level, her personality, and her life goals...then you can make the decision with her, if you both could match well together. Sit down with her and move into this slowly, invite her out for a coffee and see where it goes from there. I wish you luck. Take care
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (17 October 2008):
 While I totally disagree with female reader "tb" about age difference, your response to her continued interest, if any, should be somewhat reserved depending upon her family's opinions. Yet she is apparently of legal age, therefore she may do as she wishes in Canada, Great Britain and the U.S.A., right?
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A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (17 October 2008):
 Wow that's a real complement to you!. I think you must ask yourself if you are attracted to her??. Use your phycological skills and see if she wants something more than just friendship. However if you plan to get in a relationship remember that she is a lot younger than you. The fact that is 20 years difference between you and her it will be inevitable that some people will see it negativly. However if you both get something out of it I don't see the harm in it. good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): Stay as far away from her as possible. A 20 year difference with a mom working with you? NOT GOOD. Seriously, don't be anything more than a reserved friendly. This is just not a good situation. If the girl should make advances, I would politely refuse, and even mention to the mother in an off handed manner that while flattered, you know she's too young for you. I have a daughter, and I certainly wouldn't want her thinking anything serious about a man 20 years older than her.
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