A
female
age
41-50,
*linajade
writes: I am not allowed around my husbands daughter. My husband and I have been together for 3 years and we have been married for 2 months. The problem is that his ex GF will not allow me to be around there daughter. She says its because of some things that happen in my past but its more like shes jealous or something and thinks that I am tring to be the little girls mom. The little girl is now 4 yrs old and this is becoming harder and harder. My husband has to go to his moms house every other weekend to get his visitation with the child and I am stuck here at home alone. And while I dont mind the weekend to much its the holidays and long visits that hurt me. Like now. He is gone for the week tring to get his summer visit in. While next year he is to have her for 4 weeks. 2 weeks at a time. And then theres Christmas which is a week and spring break. Right now I am 35 weeks pregnant with his son and he acts to me like he doesnt care though he says he does. I have had several complications with the child and our first child was a still born and second was a misscarriage. This is our 3rd try. The Doctor has even decided that she is not waiting full term but doing a ce-cection at 39 weeks. With me being this close to my due and this many problems he takes off for a weeka nd wont even make time to come see me even though he is only 20-30 min away. I am at my wits end and am about to file divorce. I cant see how time with your daughter is more important than your sons life. I cant pick one child over the other. I love my step daughter even though I dont see her and I want him to be a part of her life but I realy need him right now and hes not there for me. Does anyone have any suggestions????????
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christmas, divorce, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (14 January 2010):
 Hmm, you lived with the man for 3 years knowing he had a young daughter with a problematic mother(ex GF)and you continued trying to have a new family with the man? Seems to me, you need to ask yourself why you are trying to take him away from the daughter he already has. Maybe you are jealous of the ex and her ties to their relationship. Also, maybe her reasons to omit you from any visitation are valid. You messed with a man and his child and you should feel terrible bringing yet another child into unstable and tumultous circumstances. What to do now??? Be a good mother, quit trying to manipulate the man and quit whining. You are a big girl. His baby and your new baby aren't. Why should they have to pay for your immature decisions.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Your husband is stuck in the middle a bit here. He cant be expected to drop his daughter because there is a new child on the way but I also understand how you are feeling given the problems you have had in the past.
I too suggest he takes legal advice as the child's mum is being very unreasonable about this, what reasons has she given?? Is it because you two got together whilst he was still with her?? Regardless he should get advice and find out what he can do as this situation is not going to get any better whilst he panders to this girls mother. I wish you luck with the baby, dont let this stress get to you. Concentrate on the baby first and worry about sorting out the other parts after he is born x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): This is clearly a lack of respect on your husband's part., for you. You are his wife, and you are now the stepmother to this little girl, whether the ex wife approves or not. This daughter is his child too and he has a say. You are also carrying her little half brother in your womb and I am shocked at your husband's weakness here, not to take a stand against his ex wife and insist that 'you and this baby are his life now' and he wants to share that joy with his daughter. I suggest, that he seek some legal advice and stop this ex wife's behavior dead in her tracks. How on earth can she make the choice to not allow her daughter to share in the life of her future brother. That is cruel. Be strong, dear and start talking to this man of yours. Ask for change and insist that your baby son, be able to know his sister. the on;y way will be to involve you and this child in her life. Good luck sweety and please...talk to him.
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A
female
reader, sexylildevil +, writes (1 August 2008):
 I can certainly understand your being frustrated with your husband and at this point thinking about divorce, but you have to ask yourself if you really think that is the best choice in the end for both you and your son. Have you actually sat down and talked to your husband and let him know how you feel about the issue? If you havent maybe you should. Also it is very probable that if you have lost your first 2 children which I am sorry to hear that your husband is just affraid to get attached to this last one in fear that it might have the same outcome as irrational as that may be and instead is focusing on his daughter which he has and as a result wants to hold closer and spend as much time as possiable with her. I dont know everything about your situation but from what I read this is the best advise and suggestion I could give. Sit down and talk with him and see how he is feeling and why he is not giving you the attention you and your baby may need.
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