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male
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*andy ray
writes: Hi I am a man of 33 since my girlfriend left me I have been drawn to gay men. I have also dreamed about them as well. I went to my first gay bar last week and got chatted up The guy touched me down there and I touched him back. He also kissed me and I kissed him back. Does this mean that i am gay? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, One Of The Ancients +, writes (18 July 2006):
How did you feel about it? Was it exciting? Did it make you happy to be the centre of this guy's attention? Or did you feel uncomfortable and repelled? That's really the litmus test.
Most straight guys wouldn't enter a gay bar by themselves, wouldn't chat to gay guys in that sort of venue, and definitely wouldn't allow themselves to be kissed by another man. I'm not saying that you're 100% gay, but you seem to be leaning very definitely that towards gay/bi to me.
Search your heart, think about your fantasies. Do they involve women or men? Or both? Have your fantasies changed recently, or have they always been the same things?
I'm a firm believer that we have to accept ourselves as we were made. You can deny your sexuality, but it's never simple to change it, so try to accept whatever you discover about yourself. Make your goal not to define yourself as X or Y or Z, but to be a partner in a loving and equal relationship with someone you care about and respect.
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