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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there, i am in love with this guy, he is 26 years older than me (I am 32)..i have connected with him like i never had with anyone before. I know he feels something, he has mentioned it to my colleague..saying its not just my looks, its something else, alot more. We are just friends, and i no longer work there, my friend has told me, he is not the same person since i left. Do you think it could work, is the age gap to much Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I am 34, the guy I'm dating is 58. I've know him as friends for 4 years and one day it just changed. We just started looking at each other differently. Now it has been almost 5 months. I see the challenges. But, no man has ever treated me as nice as this man does. My only fear is that I love him and I want to love him a long time; is that possible. I asked him the other day "how many good years you think you got left?" He said 4. I will be 38 then. What do I do then? All I know is he is great enough for me to want to spend those last 4 good years with him. But am I throwing away My last good years in my 30's when I could be looking now? I tried to break up with him once but I thought I would die cuz I felt it was wrong and I put an end to that. So now we are still toghter; I am still happy and I just pray now for science to give me more years with this man I love and if need be, so what, I'll wipe his butt and feed him and love him just like you would anyone you feel in love with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): A well-known commentator in the US once made a "rule of thumb" for age differences between men and women in a relationship. He gives, "one half the man's age plus seven" as the greatest possible difference in age for compatibility. But, he leaves out the later years. Thirty and twenty-two might be fine. But, fifty-eight and thirty-two is going to be a problem in the not too distant future. Of course, for women who are gold-diggers, this might be just what they are looking for. And the man might also know exactly what to expect, and not care. So, who is to say? Each to their own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): my sister married a man when she was 30 and he was in his
fifties--she is 60 now and he is 80
she is currently having an affair and waiting
for her husband to die basically
I would say dont do it
it might be sort of ok for about 10 years
but after that it getsvery iffy especially
if you are interested in sex: old men dont have sex
if its ok and you really love him and you can
envision just taking care of him that will work
but it might turn out to be a burden
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): no it wont work because when in a few years he will start to lose what he has got and for sure u will be cheating on him because he cant satisfy u anymore get someone nearer your own age .trust me ive seen it happen
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): Of course this can work. There's a 23 year age gap between my mum and dad and they are still together. She's 43 this month and he's 66. They are very happy together. But then my mum is still a big kid lol
Go for it. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Nyx  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 I'd believe the two of you should be peers by now. The situation would be much different if you were a woman in her early twenties, per se.
Its not the age gap that's the real concern, but rather the life stages. Most women in their early 30s are ready to have children, and may want to continue traveling. He may soon be planning out his retirement, and the relationship will probably turn into a spiritual/emotional one within twelve years or so, but will you be alright with that?
Consider whether or not you two would agree on the following:
+ children
+ relationship style
+ love
+ life
+ and so forth.
Overall, just make sure you two are on the same page, or else be prepared for a very rocky relationship ahead. =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): I personaly do not think the age differance is to much if you truly love each other.
You are 32 and old enough to know what you want. I am 36 and my boyfriend whome I am deeply in love with and him with me is 52. We have sparks like I have had with no other man in my life. He knows me better then anyone and can even finish my sentences or knows what I am going to say before I even say it. If this truly is love for you, you will know it!!
I wish you the best on whatever decision you make, just make sure its the right one for you....
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): No but the "stage gap" might be - where are you both in your lives? Is he looking to retire and take it easy? Is that what you want?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Age is only a number. Go ahead and give it a try. I don't see anything wrong with it. You won't know until you try it.
Take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): I think if you two connect on a deep level, then the age gap is not too much depending on what you want out of the relationship...realize that men do not live as long as women do, if it were reversed, you being the older one it would biolgically make more sense as you would probably still be together in old age...but with this union if you marry, realize that you will be spending many years alone after his passing more than likely....so you have to ask yourself is this worth that, a few years of being with this man, versus many years without him.....
If it does not bother you the age difference and it does not bother him, then it does not really matter, all that matters is that you are happy together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): Ok I would suggest seeing him a little more often to see if any feelings blossom further, and also to see if he has really changed like your friend says.
But keep it simple, you dont have to call it a date.
If he starts to open up then why not just see where it goes?.
Your still young you have lots of time to find the right guy theres no need to rush into things.
Good luck.
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