A
female
age
41-50,
*ulturelost
writes:Hi, I´m a 28 yrs old female virgin too (seems that are a lot of us around here). In my case, it havent´t happened for lack of opportunity. I´ve been always been too "right". With my first boyfriend, when I was about to do, he dumped me. Then never had a serious relationship to do it. Last year, when I was about to do with a close friend, he stoped because I was on the pill break, even with him wearing a condom. He was scared of getting me preagnant. I should say that I have a normal life (out of this relationship thing), as I have a job, many friends, travel a lot and have a loving family. I know that the best thing is doing with someone special, but sometimes I wonder how much of it still fairy tale for women? thanks aunts!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): I'm turning 30 this year and a virgin (gawd, this sounds like AA).
I've come (no pun intended) pretty close to "losing it" a couple of times but could never bring myself to cos' deep down in my heart I've always believed that I've been set apart for my future husband.
Private physical and emotional pain in the recent years, however, have threatened to erode the last vestige of my resistance. In the most recent incident earlier this month, the date got really pushy (again no pun intended) and wanted to trespass. But for some bizarre reason he just couldn't, "What are you doing? I can't seem to get in!!!" Er, talk about divine protection. Heh.
To be really honest, lately, I've been seriously contemplating the prospect of "hecking it" just to numb myself. And with this guy I'm meeting in a couple of days on Wed evening. However, an inner voice tells me that it's just gonna be a downward spiral. Instant gratification aside, the true intimacy I desire from a man can only be achieved when my soulmate offers his unequivocal committment in the context of marriage where vows are honoured in the eyes of God and "til decomposition do us apart." ;P
Alritey, time for me to hit the cold shower. Hurry up, Mr Niche! It's freezing in here!
Thanks for letting me share, folks. All the best, may you find what your heart truly desires. God bless. ;D
A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 im 22 and still am a virgin. i think its important to meet someone special and make sure it is right for you i dont think it would be good to go with anyone i think there would be regret.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Still a virgin (male) at 30 for similar reasons. Wanted to wait until marriage or at least the right relationship, but there haven't been enough relationships so far to get it done in a way that didn't feel cheap to me.I don't think you should have sex the way you're talking about unless your virginity is really costing you something (like totally cramping your dating life, etc). You're obviously capable of refraining from it and you obviously don't "need" a bunch of notches on your bedpost, so why hold out so long just to cheapen it now at the end? You seem to be someone who chooses partners VERY carefully, and with people like that there's always the chance that the next one might very well be the final one that results in a long-term marriage. I'm not saying wait until marriage for sex if you don't want to, but it does seem like kind of a shame for you to have waited this long only to have the first time experience with someone who doesn't even turn out to be a very significant relationship in your life.I'm still a virgin at 30. I don't wanna cheapen it either but I think I might be a lot more willing to have sex with the next girl I dated if SHE was a virgin too. I think I have missed out on a big thing in life because I have never really shared any romantic "firsts" with ANYONE. I don't think I'll ever be able to shake the feeling that I've been suckered into trying to do the right thing when I doubt I'll ever end up with anyone who held out anything for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): I'm a virgin too at 24 - well, 25 in a few weeks, not that I'm counting - and have come to the conclusion that, instead of waiting for 'the right person', I'm just going to have sex with my next boyfriend. I know that sounds weird but I'm single at the moment and if I like a particular guy and I like and care about each other anough to have been dating for a month or so, then I think I'll be pretty excited about experiencing sex for the first time with him. He doesn't have to be 'Mr Right'. Just 'Mr Really Great Guy I Care About who Really Likes Me Too.' :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): I waited a looong time, and so did many of my other girl friends.
When i did have sex, i was shocked that i had always thought it was such a major deal. I was actually quite sorry that i had waited so long to have fun!
Yes, sex can be wonderful and romantic and full of love and tenderness, but it can also be arkward and messy and funny and exciting!
Your first time should be with someone special, yes!
But DONT hold out too long awaiting the perfect setting, mr. demigod etc! your 28, your sexual peak started years ago, find someone who you like, treats you well and arouses you!
In relation to STD'S, use contraception, know the person relatively well before you have sex :0)
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Well done for waiting for "Mr Right" (if there is one) you should be proud of yourself for not losing your virginity to just some random guy.I'd think it wouldn't be best to lose it to a close friend because that cold affect the friendship and possibly break you up.Sometime you'll find someone and know he's mr right.Good luck!!Pete =]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): poster here again... thanks for your replies, but I guess it needs more explanations... On the first atempt, I was 10 years younger than boyfriend, and so I wanted to get ready for this. But while I was going to the doctor and looking for the right precautions, the bf, who first said I needed to take my time, decided he should leave me. The close friend I´ve quoted was in fact a foreign guy I´ve met some time before, and who claimed that loved me. And I was in love with him too. Being away from eachother, we end up meeting when i was on my brake from the pill. We could have had only with condoms, but he was afraid of doing.
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A
female
reader, Blooregard +, writes (28 August 2007):
This is something to look at positively, not negatively: you are not a victim of an STD, you have no unwanted preganancy and have no bad reputation. That's the good part.It feels right for people at different ages, I think you should indeed wait for someone special as you are young, at 28 years old you still have so much to see and do, who knows who this person will be? You will most probably regret losing it to someone who is not special to you after so long of saving it, you may not have met this special someone yet, but when you do, you are going to be SO glad you waited.Hope this helped!Best wishes
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): You could always go down the Madonna route 'losing my virginity was a career move', but it's probably best not to think like this! You will probably hear the same thing from many people - but when you meet someone special then you will feel ready and able to go all the way. This doesn't mean you have to wait for the man you might choose to marry, but for someone who you feel is special enough to take the most precious thing you have from you. Once that first time is over and done with (sorry to put it so bluntly) then trust me, you will more than make up for lost time. There really is no rush, you are only young, and lots of time. p.s good job you didn't do it with a close friend, it's rubbish unless you feel in love with someone. When you feel in love or really fancy someone, it's exciting and relaxing,and pardon me being crude but you get wet and easily turned on, but with a friend? Don't go there! Best of luck babe xx
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (28 August 2007):
 You are right when you say that more and more women are choosing to stay virgins until the wedding day, this maybe because of the ammount of STD`s around or the heightened awareness of these, im not sure but it is a lot of pressure to remain a virgin.
Good for you to choose his avenue and stick to your guns if it feels right.
My advice would be to remain a virgin unless you felt you wanted to loose it to someone and not wait until marriage, then just do it and not have the guilt that you will have if you are determined.
Good if you can but not the end of the world if you cannot.
G
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