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male
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*35lewis
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now, earlier this year we unepectedly had a kid. I love my daughter and girlfriend very much but my girlfriend and i are suppose to marry next year and my girlfriend has piled on the pounds like no business at least a few stone and i'm not physically attracted to her help!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm 25 and always been a fitness freak and she is 23 how do i sort this problem out. I keep getting the urges to leave her but know this would be the wimpy way out Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): I'm sorry, but I have a tough time agreeing with most of these people. Yeah, it's what's inside that counts, but I have great friends with great personalities that are fat and to be honest, I couldn't get it 'up' in a million years for them. I'm just a fitness freak and am only attracted to the same.
Too many women use the excuse that when they're pregnant they're 'eating for two'. That's a load of crap! You only need a couple extra hundred calories a day, but it seems like women use it as a free-for-all to pack on an extra 60 instead of 15.
If you want to make it work, push her to workout. Push her to eat right. Talk about it. Help her out around the house. Do those things that count, but make sure she understands that she needs to LOSE weight!
A
female
reader, Aunt Charlene +, writes (30 November 2006):
 hey i do completely understand your point, i workout at the gym 2hrs a day, and am physically attracted to tall and really thin men (like ribs sticking out) however my boyfriend looks nothing like this, infact hes almost twice my weight, now granted i didnt want to go out with him cos he looked ridiculous next to his lovely tall thin best mate,as it turns out, it was my bf who was kinder to me, and so i got to see him as a truly wonderful person. i have been encouraging hi to walk more and eat fruit and veg.
why not offer to cook for her? and make something healthy, encourage her to wear clothes which make her look thinner, buy her a nice pair of skinny jeans which makle legs look thinner, give her a massage not only will it help her unwind but this takes out impurities in her skin which can lead to cellulite,make her feel special and she will welcome change and appreciate you all the more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): Hahaha, sorry, that was hilarious - "eaten properly"... 8]
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): Man, Your girlfriend probably feels the same way. It isnt easy to gain weight and she propably feels unattractive. Dont create extra stress on your girlfriend or yourself.
Remember that you feel in love with this girl years ago and want to spend the rest of your life with her.
Weight is easy to lose but you will regret it, when your relationship ends.
BE GOOD...........
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male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (30 November 2006):
 you could encourage her to work out with you as well. is she eating alot because of stress or something?
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male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (30 November 2006):
 Faux paus - my last statement should read "eating properly" and not "eaten properly". A Freudian slip.
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (30 November 2006):
Why not get her to join you in your fitness workouts? Impress upon her the health benefits of being fit and eaten properly. If she wants to be around to see her daughter grow up, may be incentive enough to get her away from the table and into the gym.
Good luck!
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female
reader, raq  +, writes (30 November 2006):
 You have to ask yourself"do you love this girl?" i suspect she already knows shes piled on the pounds. Either give her some encouragement to lose it,she looking after YOUR child isnt she,has got any time for herself to go to the gym?perhaps give her a few hours a week to go to exercise class.Join a pole dancing class! Start by trying to make her feel loved and maybe she wouldnt over eat! Its what inside a person not a bit of fat that could be lost. Dont you like the commitment now a child has come along. Give her the options how to feel and look good.Encourage her,she would be more willing to lose the weight if you said you loved her and done something together as a couple.Treat her like the girl you used to know (thin).Dont leave over a bit of fat!! if you dont love her.Leave,it would be much kinder in the long run to her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): You rat bag!!!!!! How can you feel like that. She is probably struggling with her weight after having your baby. It's only months since she gave birth and it isn't always easy to get the weight off plus if she has a bit of post natel depression going on. You don't fancy her, she might feel the same way about you. How would you feel if the tables were turned. You are not likely to have a baby so you wouldn't know just what she is going through. Be more considerate towards her. Stop these negative feelings. How can you get the urge to leave her now, just because she has put on some weight. How shallow.
take care
xx
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