A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 26 no job, no degree and have no sexual/relationship experience. I know that I could live to 50 and beyond but it feels like my best years are behind me. I can't help but feel like once you destroy your youth opportunities your life is irreversibly destroyed going forth. In all honesty how many 20yr old "f*** ups" have you seen successfully turn their lives around? I'm screwed with employment and now I have to look at self employment which is a terrifying reality. I put myself in this position. I was and still lazy, uninspired and a coward. I just want to know if it CAN be alright. If i start with one day of effort and continue on from there, will I get out of this hole and see the sun. It feels like it's too late for effort but effort is the only rock I can possibly have right now. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 January 2017):
Im 48, and save a few years in my early 40s, every year has been better than the last. I expect the same this year.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): Shake it off man. Everyone has some down times and thats what makes you apprcieate the good times more. Id try focusing on a goal. Anything. Try to make it a habit. Read 10 pages a day for a month or excersie. Anytime you get down remind yourself your working on the goal. If things still got you down try to figure out what expectations are holding you back. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): Hey Buddy,Happy new year! Do cut yourself some slack. It's applaudable that you recognize your issue of being lazy. Did you know that all animals are designed to be lazy. So to not be lazy is a cultivated habit and something that requires you to fight your natural urge to lie around doing nothing :) We were put here on earth to enjoy life..not beat ourselves over our under achievements. Do stop feeling guilty about the past years.Now if you feel unhappy about how you allowed laziness take charge of you, then rise up and change that. No, it's not too late, you have your entire life ahead of you. If you are doubting whether your efforts will pay off or not, you are again thinking as a lazy man. Hard workers do not try to measure the results before working towards anything. They simply work towards goals and stay ready to accept all sorts of outcomes. Now is when you should start thinking as a man who has a hardworking attitude, gift that identity to yourself.It's not going to harm you if you put in efforts. After all you don't have anything at stake when all you're to do is make efforts! Do you know that MF Hussain started painting at 40? Likewise, several famous artists, dancers, singers, sports persons and entrepreneurs do not have a degree. And nobody expects you to even become famous- you could at least live a respectable and fulfilled life. If not anything buddy, people will appreciate and support your efforts! One day when you do something outstanding the same people will admire you, some might also envy you because they never expected YOU to reach heights. I will give you my own example- I wanted to learn a dance form since childhood. My parents however did not let me go to classes. At 18, I had a chance to join a class but I was too embarrassed thinking it's too late because my peers learned dance forms since primary school. Little did I know I will look back today at 25 and think "OMG I was so young. Why did I think so?" Some good news: I have joined classes and am learning now. I also found that more than half my class are people older much than me starting to learn a dance form that takes at least 15-20 years of training! And I realized you know what- unless I die in an accident or of terminal illness, I have enough of life to learn what I always was passionate about in THIS lifetime. I don't want to grow old and die without having done something as simple as going to class and learning a particular dance. I mean that would be a total waste of my life. Likewise, I've started to do all those things I thought I'm not worthy of or capable of and it's all only beginning to surprise me! My mother used to scoff at art/painting and tell me I don't really need any extra curricular classes because I did badly in academics (again due to family issues and fear of my father hitting me). But you know what, today they watch me with reluctant pride. I'm not a high achiever, but I'm pursuing all my interests with full efforts and am happy all the time. Other people might not look at me with awe as they might look at a big achiever. But within my self, in my own little world, I'm a high achiever because I am doing the best I can, despite obstacles in childhood that set a chain reaction. Most of all, I feel content everyday.
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A
female
reader, Nittynora  +, writes (2 January 2017):
 I don't want to patronise you I really don't. But I am 53, I did not get married until I was 25 and I was a virgin can you believe that. As for a degree I did not get my degree until I was 50. And like Denizen has said degrees are not everything. I left school with one o level. Now I have two nursing qaulifications a diploma and degree. Your time will come x
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (2 January 2017):
 Oh dear - got the January blues and doing a bit of 'poor me'.
If you check the internet you will find a great number of CEOs who do not have degrees. The other truism is that no-one ever got rich working for someone else. That might be a generalisation but is largely true.
There are quite a few jobs you can make with little start-up cost. You can Google those too. I don't need to give you a list.
People who do well in junior school don't necessarily do well in secondary school and those that do don't necessarily do well at college. These days a degree doesn't qualify you for anything much more than to work in a shoe shop. The value of qualifications has been eroded. Soon we will all need a Nobel prize to show how clever we are.
You can mope around telling yourself how useless you are and it will be true. Or you can get going and actively try to change your life. You will be surprised at the help that comes your way once you start.
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