A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When I started a new job last June, I started a relationship with a man at work. Not the best timing since he was just at the beginning of ending his 12 year marriage. That being said, I guess I'm worried now. I've heard rumors of him cheating, and found text messages on his phone from a woman calling him "my love" and he calls her "my dear" . I'm 22 weeks pregnant now and he says he forgot to tell his kids we were having a baby, and his ex wife threw a fit too. (He's a bit older than me- 16 years so his kids are grown). He's got phone calls in the middle of the night, and other things that make me wonder if he's being honest with me. He's says I'm imagining it. But I know he has cheated in the past, he lied to his wife constantly when we first me t and we were spending time together. Do I stay or should I trust my insticts???
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at work, ex-wife, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): Girl okay look sorry 2 break this 2 u but get out while u can if a man cheats on wife or lies or whatever then jumps into a relationship umm ya he's deff gonna do it again I no ppl say once a cheater always a ch3eater but that's not true its about maturity level but apperintly some women don't get this but txting u oviously already no so what r u going 2 do about it u can move out or seperate 4 a while tell him 2 change or ur over he might but if not then forget him
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2012):
 What makes you think that you are not worth loving? Because he’s a JERK? How does one man’s behavior signify that YOU are not worth loving???
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2012):
trust your gut... if you think he's cheating he probably is. Especially with a history of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSee, that's sort of where it gets even more complicated. I own my home (I bought it before he and I were together) so if someone is leaving it is him. And I did actually kick him out a couple weeks ago and I caved and let him come back 2 days later. I'm divorced, and actually have 5 children from the relationship before- ages 3-13. My IUD failed, that's how I got pregnant this time. I'm so blessed I didn't lose the pregnancy to complications from that. But to say the least, being a single mother of 5 is stressful, and I have a stressful job (I'm a manager for a 24 hour housing facility for the mentally-ill). Last doctors visit my BP was 137/102 (yeah- super high). So I'm sitting on a double edge sword so to speak... Is it more stressful to deal on my own or deal with knowing I'm not worth loving but still have some help?? I'm so confused. I cry so much...
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (30 April 2012):
 Well he was cheating on his wife with you when you first met, so chances are he will be cheating on you now. If you start a relationship badly like you have the always tend to end badly too I'm afraid.
All of the signs indicate he is cheating - the phone calls in the night, the text messages etc. I think you need to confront him and be very prepared to leave, he sounds like a compulsive liar and a cheat.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012): I say trust your instincts. If he's known for cheating he will do it again. I Addition, it is never a good idea getting into a relationship with a man or woman who just got out of a relationship, for he/she needs time to heal and may still be going through stages of confusion. You are pregnant and do not need the stress for it can affect the unborn child. I wish you the best of luck and remember you must love you first and you deserve the best and so does your child.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 April 2012):
 That age-old saying...."once a cheater, always a cheater".. did not come to pass in a vacuum.... Many/most cheaters do so again and again... to the dismay of those (like yourself) who fall prey to their lying and cheating ways.... Sorry....
Good luck...
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