A
female
age
30-35,
*ela
writes:i joined dating site to think i can find a real man.. cauce i wanna settle down.. i met a man who is older than me he is 53 we will be meeting soon 2013.. i just dont know how it will look like if i am with an old man. were open minded in all things sometimes i feel like worried if i will lose him.. cause i fell in love already even we dont met and know each other personal..we've been 5months chatting talking on line almost everyday..cause if dont see or talk to him it feels like somethings missing.. i really need some good advice.. thank you
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male
reader, Johnysonline  +, writes (3 December 2012):
My fiancée and I are about 25 yrs apart. She is 24 and im 52. We have been together for 5 yrs now! things are great and she is being supported to continue her education and we have a 1 yrs old. which is wonderful and a joy. Don't worry about what people think. that don't understand the joy in it.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 November 2012):
First of all, you cannot be in love with someone you've never met. You can only be in love with the IDEA of them.
And yes, the age gap is crippling. Let's be honest here: you're still a young flower. For him, looking back at when he was your age is one big nostalgia trip. It's been a long, long time ago. He could be your dad.
Heck, I'm your age and my dad is this guy's age. My dad has heart problems, he can't get a job anymore because of the crisis and he sure as hell doesn't want another kid.
Here you are: young, just starting out in life. If you don't feel like settling down yet, wait till you're 30 and your biological clock starts ticking. By then you'll be stuck with a man in his 60's, who may have all kinds of health problems. At that age, deterioration happens fast. You may even have to become his carer. Do you really want that.
Lastly, what do you have in common? I mean, I can't for the life of me imagine why he'd be interested in you other than the fact you're still firm and perky compared to ladies of his age.
I'm sorry OP, but your post makes you sound younger and more naive than you should be at your age and that makes the idea of getting together with a 53 year old a very bad one, unless you're looking for some shady sugar daddy arrangement.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Hi
I would not worry until you have met him in person,make sure your not alone with him too. Have family and friends around.
Plus theres nothing to stop you dating others for now as you are not a couple yet, just internet friends.What do you do on webcam, just chat?
I say keep looking, there may even be a man near you you haven't met yet.
If he does come to meet you next year and all is good then what will be your plans,where will you live? And if it is love when you meet you won't care about others, but you must not call or think of him as an old man!
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A
female
reader, Meg5180  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Well, even though the age difference is a big large, if you both are on the same page with things, it could work. If you are worried about appearances then that is a flag aready. If you both are comfortable and happy then who cares what people think. I will say sometimes when you meet in person things change so just be sure of what you are feeling before you rush into anything. Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): It won't be viewed as anything other than a guy who got a Philippine wife.
It won't be viewed negatively by most OP. It's actually quite normal these days and a lot of guys will be jealous of him too.
I have a friend who has a girlfriend from your country and he's Irish. He just came back from a holiday there to meet her in person for the first time. He's in love and said her family and friends where very nice and welcoming too.
We're all looking forward to meeting her too when she comes over here for a visit.
OP don't worry about how it will look, yours and his friends and family will accept it I'd say and who cares about anyone else or what they think?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 November 2012):
 He's in the USA and you are in the Philippines. who will be paying for whom to go visit who?
does he have the money to support and care for you if you come here?
with medical issues you may be denied admittance to the USA.
I have no issue with age gap relationships but this one leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): "I'm 22, he's 53. How will it look?"
It will look like you have Daddy issues and he's having a mid-life crisis, and he's probably a married man having a mid-life crisis which would explain his secretiveness.
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A
female
reader, gela +, writes (28 November 2012):
gela is verified as being by the original poster of the question yeah he say so he like more in life..we see each other almost everyday webcams...and were very open about family problems..
yeah he don't like to have children anymore..
and i cant have or bare children for some medical reason..his from USA..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 November 2012):
You want to settle down. Does he?
do you want children? Does he? I can tell you I'm 52 and I would NOT want children now.... no way I am up to raising a child any more.
how far apart are you that you can't meet till 2013?
do you cam with him? have you seen pictures?
you aren't in love with him per se just the idea of him. Until you meet him face to face and spend a decent amount of time with him you can't call it love.
I would not put my entire life on hold for him... a gap of 30 years is HUGE... Are you prepared for him to die many many years before you and leave you alone?
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