A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in a relationship with a 58-year old man. I just turned 21. We've been together for 7 months, and most of the time I think our relationship is very good. We are very comfortable with each other and have a great sex life. This is the happiest I've ever been in a relationship.My problem started recently when he told me he has been divorced 3 times! I knew he had been married before, but I never thought he had that many failures under his belt. I want to have a life with him, but I can't imagine a long-term relationship being successful when once person has that many divorces in their past. Am I being unfair, or do you think I have a good reason to be worried?
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (14 August 2010):
 I agree with eveyone here. Try reading my articles on spotting a bad man before you get involve, whoops too late for that, but you still might want to think hard about this relationship being so "wonderful and happy" after a short 7 months.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Allow me to quote you: "I want to have a life with him".
Listen, you will not have a life with him, at best you will have half a life with him. He's almost sixty; you are almost 40 years younger.
Your life would be so much fun if you dated someone closer to your age. Just think of all the fun things that young couples can do!
The prospect of growing old with someone is also fantastic but with this guy it will never happen. Why? Because he IS old! Think about it. In ten years, he will be almost 70, and you will be 30, a beautiful lady in her prime. Ten years later, he will likely be dead, based on life-expectancy statistics. You will be just 40, half way through it all!
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A
female
reader, Nelsiwe  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Oh girlfriend why are u doing this to ur self? U are still young and u can find lots of young man out there.you woun't be happy with that man,cause he is too old 4 u.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 August 2010):
 I think you have at least 37 reasons to be worried.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 You have lots of very good reasons to be worried. I would think anyone who got divorced 3 times has either a poor ability to select spousal partners who aren't psychotic, or he is a lousy husband. The age gap between you pair is enormous. What happens if you want children at some point in the next twenty years? Their father would be an elderly man during their childhood. At 21 you probably haven't had so much relationship experience as to determine the good from the bad. I certainly didn't at your age. You have to be careful that you are not a trophy for this older man.
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