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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: They say everyone meets their true love one day, but the way things are going I'll never find mine. I'm 21 and to be blunt I'm a virgin. Heck I've never even kissed a girl. The thing is I really dont understand why. Its not like I'm a bad person, I am generally one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I go out socialising with my mates a lot and get into all kinds of situations where I can meet girls and its not like I'm a sexual predator looking for one night stands, I would absolutely LOVE a date. But when I try to talk to them they just dont wanna know, at all. This happens in bars, clubs, restaurants, at university, everywhere! my whole life has been a tale of rejection and its depressing to say the least. I know if I ask a girl why she doesnt like me she'll come up with the same old excuses like im not their type or they got a boyfriend so whats the point? Theres nothing wrong with me, i dont have b.o. or bad breath, i scrub up well (and im not deformed or anything before you ask lol). The other week I was out clubbing and saw this guy try and get with this girl and because she spurned his advances he punched her. Then later on I saw him kissing another girl! If jerks like him can get a girl why cant I? What am i doing wrong?
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male
reader, LordofDarknessandLight  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 My friend, you are not alone. You'd be surprised how many people are in exactly the same situation as you. There are a few things that may be of help to you.1) Bars aren't a good place to meet 'the one'. Generally speaking the sort of women you find in bars aren't the type looking for any long term relationship. Despite the old idea of going to a bar picking up girls, if you ask most people how they met their partners I doubt many will say 'in a bar'. The best places to find women are at places you find the most interesting. Societies, clubs, whatever, anything you enjoy. You're more likely to get a lasting relationship from there than a bar.2) Sods law. Sometimes the most unworthy of men gain the highest of rewards. Somehow, many bastards will end up with women they do not deserve. Take comfort in the knowledge it is unlikely these relationships will last, possibly resulting in several unwanted children and the total destruction of any life plans they may have. As a general rule, bastards do not get far in life.3) Love is a game of chance. People talk of 'fate', and whilst I don't believe in fate or destiny there is a certain element of probability in love. Being in the right place at the right time to meet someone single who is interested in you. For example, one of my friends met his long term girlfriend when they were applying for university. They both came through on clearly and both ended up in the same halls of residence. It was all a matter of chance, and it is the same for pretty much everyone. It may not be the most appealing answer, but it is the only one I can give. Try to ensure you have as many possibilities for such an event occuring as possible.There is no sure fire way of getting a date. All you can do is go out and wait for when the opertunity arises. It might be tomorrow, it might be a year from now. But, provided you stay true to who you are, be a gentleman and keep an eye on the world around you I have no doubt the probabilities will allign for you.Good luck my friend.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Dear friendI do not think at all the virginity is a problem to be worried about. From the perspective of another half of world it is perfectly normal. I was virgin till i got married to my wife and so was her. Also i never had any affair at all. Neither do i want to get involved with all that.So point is do not make problem out of no problem. There are many issues in life to take care any way.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Relationships are overated, be happy on your own.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Im 20 and hav never seen anyone havin interested to me.Its how much frustrated you can undrstand.But thats our fate.We hav to accept it without any complaint to anyone.May be someday we'll find our love may be not.Sex is not all u want.It can give u physical pleasure not peace of mind.Only true love can give u divine pleasure and true love is only found by luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I agree with DoubleM- start small and work your way up. Unfortunately at your age some girls are still in the "bad boy" phase where they are more interested in jerks and losers, instead of nice guys like you. Once they get a little older (and wiser) they'll be all over you like bees to honey. Try to take up a hobby or co-ed sport you enjoy- start out as friends first and take it from there. You are still so young, so don't give yourself a hard time. You'll meet someone when you least expect it!
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 First of all, you're not an "old man" at age 21 - you have plenty of time. But why not start out being "nice" to one of the lonely-looking girls. You should be able to find one or more most anywhere, I do. Looks aren't everything, in fact, the lesser attractive may mean smarter and more sensible. Look for the young lady out with her friends who ends up still sitting at the table while her girlfriends are on the dance floor. Ask the chubby girl to dance or have a drink with you. In other words, you gotta start somewhere. Be sweet and sincere with your counterpart - a girl who feels about the same as yourself. She's out there somewhere, and she may be your ticket to love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Have you tried online dating? Or joining a school club where you have the possibility of sharing something in common with a girl there, hence a good conversation starter.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Rejection by women can be hard to understand. Consider being less "nice". Not like the idiot who hits girls, but like the guy who is not quite so eager to please girls he doesn't even know, or compliment them, or agree with the things they say.
I vividly remember being in a nightclub with a friend and we struck up a conversation with a couple of girls. We weren't really into them, we were just getting our groove on our something. Anyway, we were excusing ourselves to meet up with some other friends of ours, and one of the girls said something to the effect of, "let's hang out more later," and my exact response was, "We'll see." That's a little bit of a jerky thing to say, right? Well, the girl grabbed my arm with both hands, leaned her body against me, and said to her girlfriend, "I LOVE this guy!" Wow.
Now, for the second part of my answer, I'm going to copy-and-paste from my answer to a similar question...
Consider hiring an escort. Consult www.theeroticreview.com. There is a reason prostitution is "the oldest profession." A little sex is always better than no sex at all and that includes the sex you pay for. Some will surely say that you will end up regretting losing your virginity for money instead of for love, but they're just being romantic. Realistically, the first time you have sex isn't going to be some storybook fantasy, it's going to be clumsy and a little embarassing and a professional is going to know just how to handle you. Alternatively, if you have money to burn, you could visit VIP rooms in the seedier strip clubs until you find a girl willing to get freaky. (consult www.tuscl.net) Do not pick up a girl on the side of the road, it's just not worth the risk. Don't get caught!
I believe it's possible that women can literally "smell" a recent sexual encounter on you, like pheromones or something. If so, I'm sure that makes you more desirable. And if you just got some from some escort, and know you can get it again any time you want, you are not going to CARE so much about making it work with this or that girl in the bar or in school. Not caring (in the sense of "I don't have a hole in my life for you to fill") is attractive to women, and sometimes not caring and being just a little bit of a jerk are basically the same thing.
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female
reader, missconfused101 +, writes (12 April 2010):
 Honestly once you find that special girl, i think she will be very attracted to you because you are a virgin and never kissed a girl. No girl wants some player that has had tens of hundreds of girls! Just be a gentleman and take your time! You are still young and that girl is out there somewhere waiting to find you. Save the good stuff for that one lucky girl! Best of luck :]
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