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male
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anonymous
writes: Howdy, need some advice, I'm too nice for my own good, I cant say no, I do everything I'm told, my mother is way too emotionally dependant on me, and when I want freedom to go out and travel to another country I cant because they wont let me go, i'm the last of 3 kids at home, both my brothers have married and moved out. I'm 21yrs, and they they've told me that they, cant stay in such a big house if I move, and that they'll be sad all the time and get sick.So I'm doomed to freedom, when I go out with friends my mother cries, because "the world" is a bad place, so I must hide and lock all the doors and TALK TO NO ONE...When i talk to her about this in a calm adult manner she cries saying that she is going to have heart conditions and that her blood pressure is getting worse, we don't socialise, cause ppl are bad and they dirty the house. I want out, but they are blackmailing with health issues and its pathetic. Please Help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006): That's emotional blackmail in the extreme. Be nice but firm, and get out before you're 25 and wondering where the last 4 years went!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 January 2006):
 I'm afraid you are going to have to cut the apron strings since your mom won't. Some women have difficult time with the empty nest syndrome but it is part of life and she'll get over it sooner or later. Be firm but loving and get the heck out of Dodge. Your parents will probably find out that there are some real bonuses in that empty nest! Get going guy and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2006): Your Mother is going to have to accept the fact that you are not a child any longer. I think you are going to have to take the bull by the horns and stand on your own two feet no matter what "guilt trip" she is putting on you! Somtimes you have to be cruel to be kind.You are not going to live with them forever..and she is going to have to deal with it at some point.If her health is an issue, then maybe when you decide to move out on your own you can suggest to her, to have a health nurse come daily.I think by you feeding into all of what she is telling you, she is getting the upper hand in the situation. The longer you stay the worse it is getting! Basically she is controlling your life. Give her lots of reassurance that you will still be around like the other reader has suggested.Good Luck young Man!
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A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (12 January 2006):
 You are an adult and your mother is putting way too much on you. You are not responsable for her health and well being, though it is your mother and you don't want to abandon her at some point she has to face thather baby is all grown up. You need to make a plan of action whether it be travel or whatever, and follow through. Assure your mother that you love her and will call and visit frequently but you need to be an adult and make a life for yourself. I understand that it is hard but if you let her she will hold you back forever. At no point should a parent put all of this on their kids, it is not only unfair to you I am surprised that you are not emotionally damaged in some way. Good luck.
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