A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im 20 years old and I feel as though my mum is very controlling. I feel like I have missed out on so much in life because of her 'protection and love for me'. I wont go into the long history of all the stuff thats happened, because that will take way to long. The current issue is theres this guy who I want to be in a long distance relationship with. He wants to be in one with me and I want it too. However, my mum has been the most unsupportive person ever! She keeps telling me hes probaly just using me and will cheat on me because no 20 year old guy is mature enough to have a long distance r/ship. I hate her negativity. It makes me feel more so bad about myself. Its like she doesnt think im worth enough for him to put in the effort.I honestly think hes a great guy. Unlike every other guy ive ever dated, hes NEVER pressurd me for anything sexual. In fact he always asks me if im ok with something before doing it, and when i say im not ok with it, he wont do it and he wont ask again. I feel like he truly respects me. Hes willing to travel long distances to see me (we live in different states). And ill do the same for him. However, my mum doesnt approve of the idea.I dont now what to do. I still live with my family as I am a full time university student. Does anyone have any advice??? I dont know how to deal with all of this. I know that im over 18, so my mum cant tell me what to do etc, but i do live in her house so i do have to play by her rules. But also, her blessing and opinion is important for me. I need her support. I cant stand her negativity about the idea. Shes always been the person i trust most, so to have her against something so important to me, breaks my hearts, and someitmes i start beleiving her that he will cheat on me. Please help!!! I dont think my mum will change her mind, she never does, shes always right she thinks.
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male
reader, anoms  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 i know what its like living with a very controlling mother, do what you feel is right though, you dont have to tell your mother everything you do. the only reason im still talking to my mother is because i dont ask her advice on these things anymore as i know how negative she is about everything, so i keep my space on issues like yours, im not saying you should blank her but just know what you can and cannot talk about, then you wont have to go the uncomfortable route, gudluk.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionpvtguy- ive actually met him on several occasions already. i trust him not to abduct me. so i dont really see that as an issue and i dont think my mum does either, its more so just the using and cheating issue. she doesnt seem to understand why he would want to be with me when he could have any other girl who lives right near him. she thinks thats suspicous.
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A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 I think your mother won't be able to support you the way you would like in this relationship. Try to understand that her motivation is to protect you, and don't expect too much from her at this point.
Don't argue with her about the relationship. Exercise your best judgement, and give it your best shot! Eventually your mother may come around to your way of seeing things, and she may not. But you'll have done what was right for you, and that will be a valuable experience.
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