A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 years old and a girl that I like a lot is 16. We met each other and started talking after het parents gave my number to her. The really like me and we get along quite well. The only thing that is scary to me is the age difference, and I would like to hear someone elses point of view on the subject. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2017): When I was 20, I had a 16 year old girlfriend. It didn't work out due to the sort of girl she was more than the age difference. Even in personality, age can be just a number. Some people are 'young' for their age, some are 'old.' If you get along with each other and think it's ok between you, then there's every reason to give it a go!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2017): If the law of the land recognize 16 as the consenting-age, and her parents don't mind; I guess the rest is up to her. If she's even interested in you much more than chat.
I find it odd parents would give a 20 year-old guy their 16 year-old daughter's phone number. Maybe that's just me. I wouldn't. Are you rich? I still wouldn't!
I think there are going to be a lot of awkward moments around her friends, there will be places you want to go that might have age-restrictions; and then there is the court of public opinion. It also brings up a question about maturity levels? Does she think and communicate on the level of someone your age? Do you think on the level of an average 20 year-old? Are you a student working towards your degree?
If you think more like someone 4 years younger; then you should be pretty comfortable.
She's got four years of catching-up to do. Don't get irritated when she acts a little childish; because she's really still a kid. So she'll want to know where you are, she'll constantly text you; and want to know what you're doing. She'll be clingy; because she is just beginning to get an understanding about dating and sexuality.
If you become her first-love, and you decide to breakup. Her father will be your worst nightmare; if you break his little girl's heart, or she ends-up pregnant.
I don't see why you can't give her at least another year. Let her get through high school and concentrate on her school studies.
She's still growing, and her body is still developing. There is no doubt you're going to want to take things to the physical-level.
Sexually, when it comes to teens, it's usually best when a couple is closer to the same stage of mental-development.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (13 June 2017):
 I dont think the age gap is that big of a deal. how you choose to handle her being at the tender age of 16 is. My advice would be proceed carefully and thoughtfully. You have a fair amount of responsibility as far as being patient and not expecting the same standard of maturity as you would perhaps someone closer in age.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (13 June 2017):
 You must be very lucky that her parents passed your number on to her, it is more normal for parents to fight off all boys that even look at their 16 year old. If she it interested in you and wants you as a friend and you her then I would say to take things slow. Four years is nothing. In a few years time , is it normal in you country for parents to want to see their girls in a relationship at a young age? Do they want her to go on to higher education, or just see her place as a wife? Where what she wants for her is all that you need to worry about, and if you like each other
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (13 June 2017):
 At this point in your lives the age difference may appear considerable but, 5 or 10 years down the line, it won't seem of any significance at all.
Bear in mind however, her feelings can change drastically over the next few years. She is growing up and is at a point in her life where she could be emotionally all over the place. Having said that, girls usually mature quicker than boys, so you are probably at similar stages in development.
Do you like her? Does she like you? If so, take things steady, don't rush into anything she is not ready for and just see how it goes. If you decide after a while that this relationship is not for you, be kind in ending it quickly and cleanly.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (13 June 2017):
 It's not too bad, but I still don't like it - not until she's 18.
She's a child-adult.... sort of the in between. She's developing physically into an adult, but she's not mentally or emotionally there yet. In terms of girls generally maturing quicker than boys, she may seem as mature as you, or more so. However, she isn't an adult yet and I think it should be kept as friendship until she's at least 18.
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