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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: helo. I am inlove with a 31 year old man (im 19). He saw me passing by one time last year december and gave me his number the same day and i gave him mine. He called me later the same day unfortunately i was with my boyfriend by that time. He told me he likes me on the phone and i was scared to reply because my boyfriend was right next to me. Somehow by my body language and tone my boyfriend realised that i was talking to another guy who was interested in me then forced me to call the guy back and tell him not to call me again because i had a "man". Since that day my boyfriend was verbally abusive he said im a b*tch only to find out that he was the one cheating on me long before that call so i dumped him (no contact at all) the day before new year eve. He apologised for the pain he caused me but for me it was too late to take him back. So the whole year ive been trying to get over how bad my boyfriend treated me. Ive been single until yesterday when i saw the 31 year old guy my boyfriend accused me of dating's number. I texted him "hy" , immediately he called me after seeing my text. At first he thought i was someone else then later he remembered who i was and told me how he wanted to see me again. He told me i hurt him by telling him not to call me again because i had a man. We reconciled he shared his feelingz to me the same day yesternyt. He said he loves me and was glad that i texted him. I like him but he is 31 and im only 19. Am i risking my life here or should i give him a try? He doesnt have a full time job but i believe in his dreams.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 October 2015):
 At 31 he should be a grown up he's not. He's an immature person who doesn't do what's necessary to be a responsible adult which is HAVE A JOB...
He can't love you. he doesn't know you....
his age is not a red flag in general but it is based on his behavior.
Honey all he wants is a good roll in the hay...
BTW when my husband was 19 I was 32. I never would have found a 19 yr old even remotely acceptable as a partner.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (27 October 2015):
I think I need a lie-down. This is ludicrous. The age gap is one thing: age gap relationships can and often do work, but this is not going to be one of them. So you immediately exchange numbers upon meeting a year ago, you then tell him you’ve got a boyfriend and yesterday, after a year, you get back in touch as you are now single. One minute he doesn’t remember who you were and the next he’s telling you he loves you? This is not how it should work. He should have told you he was glad to hear from you, asked you on a date and got to know you gradually. There’s something unhealthy about how quickly he is professing his love for some-one he hardly knows. If I were to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he is shy, lonely and, despite his age, not really very mature and sensible about relationships (rather like yourself). If I were to be less charitable, I wonder if he’s just after sex and believes that in your naivety you’ll believe his professions of love. Either way, this is not going to work and I think you should tell him, if he calls again, that there won’t be anything between you.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, BloggerChick +, writes (27 October 2015):
 Hi, I understand this will not be something you want to hear, but I you're 19 and he's 31. Some people argue that at eigh(teen) and nine(teen) you're an adult but judging by the fact they both have teen in them I disagree. Usually I'd say age doesn't matter when it comes to love but I feel like he'll try to take advantage of your vulnerability from being younger and trying to move on from your ex boyfriend.
This much older man, baring in mind he's only briefly seen and been in contact with you, tells me you he "loves" you. Something just doesn't seem quite right about that, like he's only saying that because he wants something from you... I could be wrong but in my opinion when a man in his thirties wants to contact a girl barely into adulthood, he'll usually any sex. Not a long term relationship.
Hey I'm not here to judge I'm just giving my opinion which like I said could be wrong. It's up to you what happens next and if you really like him then test the relationship to see how things go before even getting intimate.
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