A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello...I have recently fallen for a guy who is about 3 1/2 years younger than I am. I recently turned 19 years old and a college freshman. He is a high school sophomore. I never would have even considered a relationship with someone with that age difference before I met him. I dated someone for about 5 months who was a year younger than me, but for reasons I will not get into (different faith/life views, jealousy, too much pressure for sex, etc.), I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. So age difference does not mean that much to me. I feel a very strong connection with this new guy...I spent 5 days at a retreat center (camp) where we were both counselors and got to know him better. He is sooo mature for his age, intelligent, we share the same faith and are serious about it, kind, and gives me a wonderful sense of peace when I am around him. At this retreat, I feel that we somehow connected. He was there for me when I was going through a tough time finally coming to terms with the death of a family member. I know that he sees me as a good friend, but I don't know if he sees me as more than that. We very much want to keep in contact with each other. My question is...should I go into this relationship any further than being friends, or should I just keep it where it is?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): I don't know why everyone assumes that a relationship has to have sex to function. I say you sound like someone who isn't thinking about sex at all, and neither is he. If that is the case, then go for it. Sex should wait until marriage anyways. I appreciate a guy who appreciates my virginity, and will stop at nothing to preserve it until marriage. My advice? Do the same. Get to know him even better. Keep in contact with him when you go off to college. And maybe something will happen...something will spark between you. You don't need sex to form a loving relationship with someone. Besides...any sort of sexual contact outside of marriage is borne of lust, not love. No exceptions.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 August 2010):
 Just don't get physical and things should be fine if you really like the guy. If you feel this strongly, I'm pretty sure you can just tell him that you want to be more than friends. You both have to be ready for this and really really patient. If you are both committed, you should have a pretty good relationship together in later years. Good Luck
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (15 August 2010):
 He sounds like a great guy, however know that it is illegal to become sexual with him for the next couple years. It will be hard to having you in college and him still in high school, however it can work as long as you keep it PG and are very committed to each other.
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