A
female
age
30-35,
*udry09
writes:I'm 19 and my mother is extremely strict what should I do?...okay so here's the deal. I'm 19 and living at home. But don't worry I pay for my food and my rent. I depend only on myself. I'm responsible and really mature. But unfortunately my mother treats me like I'm 12. When I was in high school I usually never asked her for permission to go out because the answer would always be no. I never understood why. She says she trusts me and we're like best friends. I recently got a boyfriend and things got a little extreme. I can't hang out with him as much as I want to. I rarely ever see him. Like a week ago we hung out like three times throughout the week and she told me I was spending too much time with him. I also already tried the whole not asking her for permission just letting her know thing and she had a fit. I mean things are so ridiculous she's asking me to be back home before 9 everytime I go out with my boyfriend which is almost never. I need some advice please.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (27 November 2012):
I know more than a few older women who told me they had very strict mothers well into their 20s. Now all past their 30s, not a single one of them wishes it were any different....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): How is it that you are helping her financially?
Something doesn't sound right here.
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A
female
reader, Audry09 +, writes (26 November 2012):
Audry09 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually yeah she is a single mother and I'm not an only child. I have a younger sister who is 16. My mom actually lets her go out more than me and she almost never complains when my sister asks for permission. But you guys are right. I think she's worried. And I do appreciate her caring for me so much, I mean I love her to death. But I just wish she'd be a little less strict at times lol. As of right now I can't move out because I'm helping her with some financial things, but I guess the best way to solve this, is to talk to her and let her know how I feel. Thank you so much for your advice I really appreciate it! (:
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 November 2012):
 "The rules" are, that, if you live under your folks' roof then you have to abide by their rules.....
IF you want things to be otherwise, then you have to take a different address....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): OP, I suspect your mother is so strict for a very simple reason: She considers herself much too young to be a grandmother.
Translation: she doesn't want you to get pregnant.
If she is a single parent as Karlos suggests, maybe she also wants you to avoid making the same mistakes she may have made at your age.
Talk to her, but cut her some slack. She is genuinely concerened, just a bit overbearing and slightly misguided.
Good news: You would be much worse off with a mother who didn't care and let you run wild.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): As you are old enough to buy your own food and pay your own rent, find a new place to live, with roommates if necessary. Then you will not have to account for your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): Have you actually told her how you feel and asked why she is this way with you? Also are you an only child and is she a single parent? (The reason for the last two questions is because she could well feel lonely when you're not around, she'll never tell you that of course lol)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 November 2012):
 go pay rent somewhere else.... best advice.
since you are paying rent and room and board you can do it somewhere else... problem solved.
if you can't move out, then continue to TELL her what you are doing and let her blow a fit.
I mean what does she do? scream and yell? as long as all she does is verbal stuff, just absent yourself from the home when she starts.
I think it's time for you to try to find a room to rent somewhere else...
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