A
male
age
30-35,
*live890
writes:okay well im 17 and there's a kid who is very special to me (lets call her hannah) well she is 14 going on 15. I've known her since the day she was born and our families are very close. I have grown up with her and always looked out for her like an older brother.We have been through a fair bit together, both being national swimmers, without the genral personal worries. And she has always come to me when she has a problem.A few weeks ago, we both went away with swimming. We both stayed in a club villa with 2 friends, another guy (whos 18), and another girl (17) but she was only there everynow and then just to support us.Anyway it was a reasoably big competition, and hannah who is a fair bit younger than us had a hard job competing against people alot bigger and older than her. So coming back very tired and worn out one night she got quite upset and needed a bit of comforting, so i gave her a big hug an kissed the top of her head etc. then as she wasnt sleeping well, i went in an cuddled up to her, and in the end we both fell asleep.now the other guy keeps telling me its wrong, and that im just taking advantage of hannah being younger and of how much loves me.And im now abit worried, though i would never do anything to hurt her and dont belive we have done anything "wrong" as we are both in healthy relationships already, and there is nothing more than a close bond between us.but im keep thinking that maybe i have done something wrong and hannah will end up getting hurt. so if anyone has any views or suggestions on this it would be very helpfulthanks x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): hey there is nothing wrong comforting your little sister to sleep. she is like your little sister and you are her big brother. as long as u dont "like" her in that way you are totally fine. and even if she falls for you, you are old enough to explain to her the reasons why you cant like her that way. this will even tighten ya'lls bond. thats if YOU dont like her that way
A
female
reader, Complicated*One +, writes (28 August 2007):
I dont think u have done anything wrong. As you said you and this girl are really close friends and i have many of older lads who would do the same for me. The person who said that this 14 yr old girl is blaitenly inlove with you, she is not a little girl, 14yr olds are smart enough to kno friendship from being 'inlove'.i think you were a really good friend that night and she will look upto u for that!dont listen to what any stupid guy is sayin to you, 14-17 is only 3yrs either way!!!tell him to butt out n get lost!as for your partner if u wish to tell her then thats good but i dont see any need to why you should, after all it was a kiss on the head and a cuddle, if your in a healthy relationship then she wont mind! good luck xxx
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A
male
reader, Clive890 +, writes (28 August 2007):
Clive890 is verified as being by the original poster of the question yea my gf know what were like, and is fine with it as she knows we are just like brother and sister nothing more. But Yea i do worry that hannah might fall for me, and i dont want to let her get hurt if that was to happen. any advice ?
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A
female
reader, Geminibabe2013  +, writes (28 August 2007):
u r so sweet to try and cheer her up like that i say if u love her then u should go for it. dont worry about what everybdy else thinks. also if its ok with her parents to date her then more power to ya. there is nothing wrong with wanting to be an older man in her life just make sure that u dont try anything to serious on her being that she is so young. as i said before u sound like a very sweet guy so if u like her and she likes you then dont worry if everyone thinks its wrong. best of luck -geminibabe
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): So you went to sleep with a 14 year old girl after hugging her and kissing her head and then you both fell asleep together? You should take the advice of your friend - he can blatantly see that the girl is in love with you, and is giving it to you straight and telling you to be careful. People do not go from having a friendly hug to falling asleep, you were obviously holding each other for a long time for this to happen. You are treading dangerous waters my friend, be very careful. If you ask me, you should keep some distance between you (especially physical distance!). You say you are both in healthy relationships, but I do doubt very much that your girlfriend knows you slept with her after cuddling her - no woman AT ALL would be happy with that! X
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hi there Clive,
I don't think you've done anything wrong at all. Let me tell you what I first thought of when I read your question - the guy who said it's wrong is jealous. He may not be, but in either case it's really not any of his business.
But, what I would worry about is how your partner would feel about this. Do you think she'd be thrilled to find out that you kissed another girl and cuddled with her? It may have been innocent, but it might not sound like it to your girlfriend. Have you talked with her about it? If no, then why not? If it's because you're afraid of her reaction, then maybe it's not the best thing to be so touchy with your close girl friend.
But if you're fine with it, your girlfriend is fine with it, your friend is fine with it (and her boyfriend is fine with it), then all is well.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, *Desire*  +, writes (28 August 2007):
I dont think that you have done anything wrong. and i dont agree with "spanna" saying to distance yourself, if you do without reason you my lose this bond that sounds to me as though you are brother and sister.If you talk to hannah if you have a problem with it, she will respect you more than just distancing yourself. Remember she is only 14/15 and wants reason. And if i was your girlfriend i would have seen this relationship you have with her and i wouldn't have a problem. Age doesn't matter, u seem as though you are best friends
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A
female
reader, lovehate +, writes (28 August 2007):
 To be honest you sound like the nicest guy i've spoken to. Your bond is just a strong friendship and you are basically family considering you have known her since she was born. There is nothing "wrong" or "sick" about your friendship. You are simply friends and from what i hear best friends in a way. You speak about her with real love as though she is your sister. She is lucky to have such a lovely friend like you. Believe me lots of girls would love having an older male friend to look out for them and make sure they are safe. It's amazing.Don't feel ashamed at all and the guy that was saying it was "wrong" is completely out of his mind. You are just friends.I hope i helped. xx
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