A
female
age
41-50,
*andris
writes:I have been seeing a guy who is 8 years younger then me, (im 25 his 17) We have been going out now for just over 6 months, but during this time we have had alot of people tell us that our relationship is 'sick' or 'wrong'. Is it really that wrong for a relationship like this? Yet if it were the other way round that he was the older one people wouldnt care so much. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Cleopatra71  +, writes (10 November 2009):
If it were reversed people would be different. I met my husband when he was 19 and I was 28 with three children. He married me when he was 20. A couple years later we had a child. We are still married and raising our 4 children. We will be married 8 years in December. We have gotten alot of grief. Early in our dating I told him to perhaps go and see if maybe he wanted something else he declined. Don't worry what people say or think, they don't really know what the relationship is about thats between the two of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): it's sickening, he's an adult and your are just a young teenager, this should stop, well it's up to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): yeha i know how you feel i have a boyfriend a year younger and i know thats not much but are going to different schools now i am in high school he is in junor high and people ae always like you know you should find some1 your own age or in high school but its like i am happy and luv him but same if he was older than it would be fine and theya ll tell me to take the guy that is 2 years older than me that likes me but dont listen to those people if you are happy then stay with him it will be ok i know people who got married and were 15 years apart so who caers what those people think
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A
female
reader, c3c3znumba1 +, writes (15 June 2008):
there is nothing wrong with that and even if there was you shouldnt let anyones opinion come between you.
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 unless you plan on making him your husband and decided to start molding him into a perfect one from now...
there's nothing wrong with dating him.
(actually, that plan isn't that wrong either.)
if you're both happy, there's nothing wrong with it
anyone else who has problems can just keep their mouth shut about it!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Hi,
its a free world mate and you guys can do whatever you want.
But from your perspective if you think this is a serious relationship I assume you understand that in 4-5 years time he will be a very different person than now, he will have hopes and dreams different from the ones he sharing with you now, he may want to go to university away from where you live and he may simply find that he wants to see somebody different for a change - 17 is a real early time to commit to a relationship . Basically he will be coming into making some major life choices which you have already made.
But aside from all of this if you know this relationship most likely has a limited shelf life then go for it.
Expecting big things like serious commitment from him would simply be naive I believe.
good luck ( from a man who was once 17 himself)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): People problem is that boys are more immature than girls but thats sexist to a degree, just do what you want! Who cares? I don't and other people shouldn't give a damn
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A
female
reader, loops  +, writes (15 June 2008):
I wouldnt class it as sick, or wrong, it is a bit risky though. At 17 most boys are just starting to experiment with relationships, your a lot older, and probably know what you want, where as he is still getting to know himself, never mind what he wants from a relationship.
Some relationships with this age difference do work, but be wary that all the things youve experienced that may have shaped who you are, or changed you, a lot of them he still has to go through, and trust me if it were the other way round people would still be concerned by your relationship for the exact same reasons
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A
female
reader, teenamaria +, writes (15 June 2008):
Hi No I do not think its wrong, as long as you are both happy then sod any one else, the age difference is not that great and if it was the other way around would it then be such an issue.. I think the people who are making your lifes diffcult are i expect a little jealous
Enjoy your relationship.
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A
female
reader, pwincess-sarah-08 +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Hell no! If it's love then it can't be wrong! I hate people who say it's wrong but you can't choose who you love. So my advice is to ignore haters and enjoy being in love. It is a simple complex rare beautiful thing and you must be lucky to have it!
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A
female
reader, LaydeeOfSorrows +, writes (15 June 2008):
 I dont see age as a large factor in a relationship, unless its illegal, which in your case, its not. If you really like each other, there should be no problem at all. I would tell the nosy people to mind their business and to keep their rude comments to themselves!
Good luck!
xx
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A
male
reader, OhLawdWhat DoIDo +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Firstly the admin titled this question wrong, SHE is 25 and her boyfriend is 17!
I don't think it's wrong. It's your choice - if you're both happy then who cares what anyone else thinks?
Chin up!
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