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anonymous
writes: Hi,I was wondering what is classed as ilegal in the UK with an under 16 year old???I'm 17 and she is 15! we are really love each other and want to get more physical but don't want to break the law!Please can you tell us what is ok?THANKS. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DearSteve  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Sexual intercourse with somebody under the age of sixteen is against the law. Despite whether the girl in question is a consenting party, it is classed as “statutory rape”, meaning that legally speaking you took advantage of a minor who is not responsible enough to make her own decisions. Technically you are breaking the law and I advice you to wait, if only to ensure that you are ‘legal’.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): um, the legal age gap there is 4 yea?
so then your only two years apart.personally, i would just go for it.but Im too impulsive for my own good.what you should do is look up you areas laws on age of consent and legal gaps.
as long as your not 4 yrs older then the minor you should be fine.in most places theres a legal gap, usually 5, 4 I believe is the lowest.but look for yourself, trusting what other people say is, well its just not a bright idea.and a quick and easy way to find yourself in more trouble then you'd like.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): go to the library and look up the law codes. Look up the UK government and legal website for the criminal code. It should answer your question.The legal facts are out there to be read. You don't need to ask for advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): im in the exact same position as you and i dont want to break the law either but the fact of the matter is evreybody does it at some point at that age its just if you wanna take the risk, but in another case you can do other stuff besides sex.......
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): an adult any age could have sex with a 16 year old
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 Breaking the law is a highly subjective thing. For example:
- In Nazi Germany it was illegal to protect a Jew. However, I think we all can agree that breaking the law in this case would have been a good thing. Hence, it cannot always be said that it is bad to break the law. Sometimes it is the right thing to do. This is true in many less extreme cases
- Getting a parking ticket is breaking the law. I don't think we feel moral outrage towards these horrific lawbreakers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): Why start with the low mentality of berating a victim of rape by declaring her a LIAR...you are most uncouth and a coward for hiding behind an anonymous title and anyone with good judgement and common respect for another would show consideration and compassion instead of attacking another by letting your judgement be clouded for personal reasons.
Since he DOESN'T want to BREAK THE LAW, they should obstain until she is age of "CONSENT".
And just because you are of an age where it is declared legal; still doesn't denote if they are both Mature enough to handle such an act. Not all knowledge is for everyone...ever think to hand over a bomb to a 8 year old? Ever think to give a 100 pound weight to a 4 year old? t
That is how I see children and teens with certain knowledge.
Dude...just wait it out so you don't have to break the law.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2006): Charmedone I am really sorry to hear about your circumstances. I really am. However, I do think you completely misunderstood what I was saying by bringing up your situation as a justification for why I am wrong.
There is obviously a BIG difference between someone who rapes someone [no matter what their age] and two people, of very similar age, who both want, and consent to, having sex with each other. Of course there are plenty of examples where people have been charged with rape of a minor if there were circumstances that this actually happened!
If you had walked in to a police station and said "Me and my boyfriend, who love each other, had sex with each other. I'm 15 and hes 17 - does that mean you are going to arrest him for rape" they will clearly say NO. They would only take action if either you, or your parents, give evidence to the effect that he took sexually took advantage of you. Rape is rape, no matter what your age is, and your situation would have been no different if you were 16 - he is still a rapist.
All I have ever justified on this page is that if two people, who feel they are in love, and in a commited relationship should not have to necessarily refrain from having a sexual relationship on just the account that one of them is under 16. I really really see how I am "brain washing" any one, to be honest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2006): Charmedone, fair point.
I'm not advocating under age sex here, I realise it is "illegal". But at the same time, in some places in the UK 30% of people are loosing their virginity before the age of consent and I highly doubt they are loosing it to other 15 year olds.
I don't know about your case, but whoever decided to prosecute him (your parents?) must have had an exceptional reason to choose to drag him through the courts and have him labelled as a rapist.
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reader, Nerve2_1 +, writes (4 September 2006):
 Sex with a minor is statutory rape. It is unlikely, but not beyond the realms of probability that a 17 year old will be charged with a criminal offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003.
18. Section 9 makes it an offence for a person (A) aged 18 or over to intentionally engage in sexual touching of a child under 16. Where the child is aged 13 or over but under 16, the prosecution must prove that A did not reasonably believe that he was 16 or over. "Touching" is explained at section 79(8) and covers all forms of physical contact including penetration; "sexual" is defined at section 78. Whether or not the child consented to the activity is irrelevant."
Consent is not a defence to this crime (it is strict liability). However, the two touchstones of a prosecution by the CPS are whether there is enough evidence and whether it is "in the public interest" to pursue the matter. Just because you may not be prosecuted or the likelihood of prosecution is less than 1% does not mean you should have contempt for the law by flouting its rules. They are there to protect the innocent that is true, but just because the "law is an ass" does not mean it should be wilfully disobeyed. If the CPS felt that it wanted to make an example of you, your life would be dealt a cruel blow just because you could not control your urges. You may not get a custodial sentence but you WILL get a criminal record and be on the sex offenders register for 5 years. If you want more information let me know...I am a lawyer...we have had several prosecutions in the Youth Court (Magistrates') for this crime. Check the local registry at the Magistrates' if you want proof of this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): Charmedone, you sound like a liar, how come you never said that in the first place, took you a while didnt it, anyway yeah we know the age of consent is 16 but how many bleeding underage KIDS are having sex and the police dont do jack about it because the two KIDS are boyf and girlf, dont start going on with yourself. Please.
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reader, xamyx +, writes (22 August 2006):
it is illegal and you could get arrested for this keep out of getting physical until she is old enough im sure you dont want to spend some time in jail and im sure she wont lke this either sorry! sex can wait coz love will last forever
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reader, aa +, writes (21 August 2006):
It is illegal but considering there's and 11 year old who have had sex i think most who are pissed off at this guy are a bit irrational. THERE ARE GIRLS WHO ARE 16 AND DATING 30 YEAR OLD MALES. THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!
There are people at my sixth form who are dating girls in year 11 who are 15 and they've probably had sex (though some are utter liars).
I think to a certain extent no if your 17 you probably won't be prosecuted.
But fo crying out loud if you do end up having sex, wear a condom, there's too many STD's out there mate.
Oh and C
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): If the girls parents find out you have had sex with their "little girl" while she was underage chances are you will be charged!!As a parent myself i would demand it from the police,These laws are there to protect underage children(yes she is still a child in the eyes of the law)
Im not saying the girl is not emotionally mature enough already but is it really worth the risk of the mess you could cause?Just because YOU couldn't wait until she was 16?
The straight answer to your question?
Yes its illeagal!!
You may not be charged (depends on how much under 16 she is )but her parents may stop her from seeing you,and if you truly love her or have any kind of respect for her you would not be acting so selfish and you would show some restraint.You dont just have to have sex to be physical with each other!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Thanks M :)
I was unclear in my original message and went on to give my opinion without first establishing that, yes, it would be "illegal" to have sex with this girl.
However, I don't give advice based on the legality of something. I give advice on what I think is morally and ethically right on an individual case-by-case judgement.
If this guy (or girl) posted a question asking "should I have sex" (as many do) - the answer would probably be no. The reason being that if you need to ask advice on whether or not you are ready to have sex, you probably arn't.
In this case, if a guy and girl seem to be "ready" to have sex, but are more worried about the legality behind it, I would advice as I have done.
Physically and emotionally a 15 and 17 year old are quite likely the same or at least similar. If they are within a relationship, and are both entering in to a mutual agreement, I don't believe the law should really dictate to them that they can't continue, e.g. "you will have to wait 48 days and 5 hours before you can enter in to a sexual relationship" - that is just utterly arbitrary and rediculous.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with a 17yr old being with a 15yr old in this way. Especially since so many people loose their virginity as a mistake, usually when they are drunk to some person that didn't even care about them.
Yet, according to some of the answers here, if you use law as a basis for an answer it would follow that it is more acceptable to loose your virginity in a "drunken mistake" a day after your 16th birthday than it would to be within a relationship one day before your 16th birthday!
How any one can seriously advice this guy against having sex with his girlfriend on the account he will be arrested, and prosecuted as being a rapist? How absurd and detached from the real world and real people that view really is.
*rant over*
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Why would that be the case?If one party was below the age of consent, then surely the law is broken.You say there is only a problem if the age was bigger, what would the age difference have to be?
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reader, bonym +, writes (20 August 2006):
 Can I just say that Dr Pete is right, and I am not just saying that cos he is one of my mutual friends but he is right, yes the age of CONSENT is 16 but a 17 year old will not be charged for rape by having intercourse with a 15 year old, so please dont say he is wrong, cos he aint!!! I think perhaps the way the question was worded thats all. But to the person who posted the question, no you wont be in any legal trouble. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): True, the age of consent in the UK is 16.Charmedone - please find me one prosecution in the UK where a 17yr old boyfriend was charged as having sex with a minor or for raping a 15yr old girlfriend (when they were just a "couple")You won't. Like I said - the age of consent is there to protect people who are younger than 16 from people in authority, it is NOT there to prosecute people such as the question asker.Still don't believe me? ask a policeman.
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reader, sugersweet02 +, writes (20 August 2006):
 im really sorry you cant till hes over 16. but if you love him you will wait and maybe if you wait a year or so until he is 16 it will be more exciting as you are both young it is wise to use protection all the time and the 1st time to
ps: wait or youll get arrested and then you will not get very phsical will you?
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reader, Wendyg +, writes (20 August 2006):
 I think Dr Pete was actually probably leaning more to the fact of the age gap rather than the legal age of consent... Some countries states etc... even if the age of consent had already past its illegal for a couple of an age gap say 10 or so years to engage in sex, ie if the age of consent were 16 and the guy were 26 it could be deemed as illegal. In this country obviously the legal age is 16 and that means no sex until that age, so no matter how old the other partner both parties have to be above 16 for this not to be considered illegal.
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reader, dummyduckling +, writes (20 August 2006):
 Dr.Pete is wrong 16 is the leagal age in the UK.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Dr. Pete is wrong. It is illegal. Whether the law will take action is doubtful but is is against the law because the age of consent in the UK is 16.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): You don't have any thing to worry about.
It is only a problem if the age gap was bigger, or if you were in a position of authority (such as her teacher)
Make sure you have protection if you think things may lead on to sex, you don't want to have to deal with emergency contraception (the morning after pill) - it's a sure thing to ruin the innocence of the beginning of a relationship! Enjoy and look after each other:)
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