A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there, this is a pretty big question and i know you will think im stupid when you hear the first bit but if you can help me at all i would appreciate it.OKay im 16 and have been with my boyfriend since we were 13, However we only became sexually active on my 16th birthday, this resulted (condom split so we did use protection) in my pregnancy and we had a baby boy 4 weeks premature. Now he is 10 weeks old and i am 6 weeks pregnant again! I heard you can get pregnant anytime after 2-3 weeks after birth but i didnt think that was actually possible. This time we didnt use protection (mistake i know)It gets worse, now my boyfriend decided he isnt ready to be a father and left our flat on New Years Eve. I have told him he doesnt really have a choice about it and that its his fault as much as mine. Hes nto having any of it.My parents emmigrated last year when i moved into a flat with my boyfriend so i cant really go runniing to them and i know for a fact they wont come running back. They didnt for my first baby. What am i supposed to do? How am i supposed to support a 10 week old baby when i get my new bump its not like i can work because i cant afford childcare 24/7 and i cant lea him while i work.My boyfriends comeing around tonight to talk things out, should i smack him and tell him not to be so stupid and come back and be a father to his children?Or do i listen to what he has to say then see where things go?
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (5 January 2008):
 your baby should be healthy and wont have any problems related but you will be exhausted! one pregnancy straight after another is gonna really take it out of your body so you need to rest up as much as you can and really take it easy. the human gestation period is 9 months and you are basically going to be pregnant for 18 months. gah. so you need to take care of yourself.
my sister had a baby then fell pregnant again 6 months later and they told her that because she had a caesarean the first time she would need to have one the second time because it was only a little over a year later and her body might not be strong enough to handle a labour so soon after such a major operation. so it might have an effect on your birthing plans but talk to your midwife/doctor. im sure everything will be ok.
and im glad your boyfriend came to his senses!
love brooke
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys thanks so much for all your help,
Firstly just a note to starfairy we did use a condom the first time, i know the second time i was stupid.
My boyfriend came around didnt speak just kissed me and told me the moment he walked out he regretted it and indeed he was just very scared because were only young and he now has 2 kids to support.
Weve worked a few things out and his Momma's going to help with childcare while work up to as far as i can.
Thankyou so much all of you,
Althouhg just one more question?
Anyone know what the chances of my second baby being healthy are will it being concieved so early affect it or not?
Thankyou so much
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Wow well down for coping so well it musnt be easy for you, you need to listen to what your boyfriend needs to say things might not work out between you but thats no excuse for him not to be a father, i think you also need to talk to your parents and get some advice or maybe some other relatives because its unfair to expect you to have to deal with this all on your own, and as for the money you can probably get child support and benefits there are lots of people who can help and who are willing to help you just have to accept it because nobody expects anyone no matter there age to cope on there own when there in a complex situation
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (2 January 2008):
Hiya honey, wow sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. I think you need to decide if you want to carry on with your pregnancy. Now i would NEVER try to influence someones decision on that but your life is definitely a bit of a muddle right now and if you decide you dont want to have the baby nobody could blame you. and if you decide you DO want to have the baby then that will give you the extra motivation and push you need to get back on your feet and give your kids as much as you can.
There is help available. See your doctor and ask for numbers of local support groups. Go to your local council office and get all the help you can - financially and emotionally. They can help you with bills, childcare etc etc.
As for the boyfriend, i think he is probably just freaked out at being a father for the first time, and then the second baby coming along so soon after. It must be a shock to the system. But still that is no excuse for him leaving you to deal with it. Its 50% your doing and 50% his. You dont get to walk away from your baby and neither does he.
I think he probably just needed a little bit of space so when he comes round try not to get mad at him or shout at him. you have to let him know that you understand how he's feeling but you think you really need each other and need to be there for each other and help each other. if he feels like you dont understand him you'll just push him further away.
all the best hun
let me know how you're getting on
brooke
x
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A
female
reader, x-Happy-Feet-x +, writes (2 January 2008):
 well done for getting this far but i think he isnt realising what hes doing did he drink a bit? he might of been angry but talk to him and say you need him tel him about work problems im sure he loves you alot maybe you can have a talk and he might just realise and remind him about your old times when you was young but whatever you do dont get agressive as he might hit back and effect you and the baby but anyway it might make him angry and walk out for good so try not to get stressed with it all show him your a strong girl but you need support from him xx hope this helps
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Oh my God...My heart really goes out to you. What a horrible situation to be in. I'm sure you've had a million lectures but I can't believe you were stupid enough to get in this situation, why didn't you take the morning after pill, or use condoms??
I feel really angry at reading about your boyfriend abandoning you, it takes 2 to tango and he should live up to his responsibilities. HE can't deal with it, how does he think YOU will??
You didn't mention if you have council housing? Or are you renting privately? If you're not receiving benefits there are plenty out there that will help you. If you haven't already, you need to get in touch with your local council. If the father of the children refuses to support you, call the CSA (Child Support Agency). They take money straight out of his wages to give to you for child support.
Now you need to think about whether you want this guy in your life. If you beg him to come home and he does, will you feel insecure as to how long it'll be before he goes running again? Would someone like that really be a benefit to you?
Or do you think he's just feeling the stress and will be a loving supportive boyfriend and father?
It must be so tough not having your family around, I hope you have a good support system of friends.
If you feel the need to talk to anyone, please send me a message. I'm a good listener xx
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