A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Im 15 atm and I met a fantastic guy in the summer. He is 20. We have both had feelings for each other for about 10 months now and he wants us to have a relationship. He is a good person and he wont do anything with me until im 16 in feb 08 but then he will be 21.Is it ok for a 16 year old to have a sexual relationship with a 21 year old? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Complicated*One +, writes (25 January 2008):
Sorry but i completely dissagree with sexi, i have been in a relationship with a 20yr old and iv only recently turned 16, as long as u both like each other then there is no need to worry about the age gap. age is just a number at the end of the day and shouldnt be considered too important. if they make u laugh and make u feel special go for it.just be careful not to rush into things, take it slow as it can be very emotionally challengin for people if they have a sexual relationship with an older guy at a younger age and remember your only 15 so ur not legal to have sex at the minute, however if u do chose to then please use a condom. good luck!!
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (23 January 2008):
Mental and emotional maturity is more important than chronological age difference. I don't think it's wrong for a 16 year old to have a relationship with a 21 year old, but it may not be a good idea to make it a sexual relationship just yet. If the legal age-of-consent question is the major factor in your decision you're probably NOT ready for sex.
Give it at least another 6 months, or even a year. If he's the right guy for you he'll still be there. If he breaks up over this you'll have a broken heart but no regrets. If you go ahead with sex and then break up you'll have both a broken heart and the regret of having sex with the wrong guy.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Hi
I not sure about the law in your country but i personally dont think that 5 yeats is too big of a difference.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): It wouldn't be illegal, but it'd be misconduct. I don't know how you two know each other, but if he's in an authority position, it'd be subject to at least administrative action or at most an "abuse of power" charge. A misdemeanor is likely in the latter case--there is a possiblity of jail.
While there's no law against age differences in a relationship once you're 16, this is where public disapproval can still ruin someone's life. It's not going to be like the Salem witch hunt or anything, but if people know, they will talk. You and your man could both be driven out of town if someone finds out, even though there's technically nothing to hide. This is the difference between morals and ethics. Morally, you're in love, and love is good. Ethically, the age difference is a bit disturbing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): im 19 and my boyfriend is 35. we got together when i was 16. 3 years later we're still very happy together.
some guys are bastards though! so watch out. youve just got to ask yourself what kind of guy he is and if it will seriously work out in the long run. you dont want to be just another notch on the bedpost!
goodluck xxx
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A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (13 January 2008):
 It seems you'll be 16 very soon so the legal position is really not an issue. The main thing is that you have a genuine relationship and you are not pressured into sex by your fella.
It's a relatively small age gap by modern standards. I've always gone for older guys and for what it's worth I think it's far better. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): i would say you're just a little too young for such an age gap.But it really comes down to how you feel about him and how he feels about you.Just try to weight the pros and cons of having a relationship with him.My ultimate tip is, bare in mind that he's been through a lot of stuff you probably haven't, a lot happens in those 5 years you have apart and it's wise to consider that your experience of them might be affected by being with an older guy.best of luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): I think you should be alright if you really truely trust and respect each other. Maybe at this moment in time it might seem like a big difference, but when you're older it won't seem so odd!
Go ahead with this if you feel that you are both sensible and responsible enough. Good luck.
I hope it all turns out well x x x
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A
female
reader, anony2008 +, writes (13 January 2008):
Hi hun, you reli like this guy right? and if youve alredy w8ed to have a relationship with this guy for ten months then good on ya gal!Age shudnt be an issue when you really like sumone and want a relationship, however when it comes to 'sex' you must be careful. Just because you are 16 and legal in feb does not mean you are ready to have sex with this man. Girls are always more mature than lads which is why gals usually go for a guy thats older and guys dont feel so uneasy. I think that if you really like this guy you should have a relationship with him, you wont know untill you try. but use this time to get to know him all the more. Don't have sex with him until YOU are truley ready and you have spoken about it together comfortably. I know everyone says that you should have sex with sumone you love but it is sooo true! When you wake up next to him in the morning you want to be happy and in love, not thinkin shit what have i done!Takes things slow, DEFINATELY wait till you are 16 and do no rush into anything you may later regret!Good luck sweet! xxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 Practice safe sex and avoid unwanted pregnancies. If you love each other and that you are matured to understand what sex is all about and the responsibilities associated with it,then it is OK. Otherwise ,you will be emotionally and mentally affected.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): hi i would like you too think about what he might want out of the relationship because u said he will wait but if this is something strong then it shouldn't be about sex.I want u to wait before u have it with him and it is okay to fall in love with some1 older than u as long as it's riteHope evryting works out for u.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): YES!! of corse as long as your of age to have sex and you are both in a relationship and love each other i can see no problem whatsoever!good luck xx
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