A
female
age
26-29,
*heartCherrios
writes:so i met this guy on the spot (a dating site on the ipod touch) and we've been talking,video chatting, and texting for 2 months now. well, 2 weeks after we started talking, he told me that he was 21 and in the airforce. the problem is, im 14. he told me when he saw my profile pic that i looked older and it was an honest mistake. so we continued talking. now after 2 months, we have an amazing relationship. but another problem is, hes in california and imin michigan. we love eachother but idk what to do. hes a great guy buy can we take our relationship further? or wait it out til im old enough? i know he means no harm to me ever. please help.
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female
reader, IheartCherrios +, writes (2 July 2011):
IheartCherrios is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAww well thanks for all the advice! this really helps! I think I will keep talking to him occasionally but just as friends. I think he's a pretty cool guy and i love hearing about the airforce. So i'll wait out the age and meet a new guy (my own age) in the mean time. And yes, unfortunately, he can get a lot of girls and that's why i find it so hard to believe that he's talking to me. If he can keep talking to me for the next 4 years, i will consider moving to the next level with him. But until then, ill take all your guys' advice and stay safe. Thanks so much, it means the world!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Honestly, if he really loves and he claims and you love him as you claim to, you should break off this relationship because i know for a fact that age differences and long-distance relationships do not work, because of the trust issue. he's 21 so he can do whatever he wants and go wherever he wants. Utimately you 14! Do you not see whats wrong this picture, he can get in trouble if he takes anything further with a minor. You are limited to a lot just because youre 14. Youll be missing out on a lot trying to do what a 21 year old does. Honestly, do you think he is going to what a fourteen year old wants to do? heck no. and he's in the army of whatever, he missed out on some things also. You really need to thinks about the what if's even if there so huge and it wont possibly happen, but it can happen. People change their minds you know? I hope you know what youll be getting yourself into.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Honestly, if he really loves and he claims and you love him as you claim to, you should break off this relationship because i know for a fact that age differences and long-distance relationships do not work, because of the trust issue. he's 21 so he can do whatever he wants and go wherever he wants. Utimately you 14! Do you not see whats wrong this picture, he can get in trouble if he takes anything further with a minor. You are limited to a lot just because youre 14. Youll be missing out on a lot trying to do what a 21 year old does. Honestly, do you think he is going to what a fourteen year old wants to do? heck no. and he's in the army of whatever, he missed out on some things also. You really need to thinks about the what if's even if there so huge and it wont possibly happen, but it can happen. People change their minds you know? I hope you know what youll be getting yourself into.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Dear one,
does your mom or dad know about this man? are you afraid to tell them? perhaps because you know that it's not going to be allowable till you are 18...
you can stay CASUAL NON SEXUAL internet friends online... but until you are 18 that is all you can do. it's illegal for him to have more with you and he will go to jail and ruin his life... you don't want that for him....
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A
female
reader, Aunty Abzy  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 I dont think you should take things any further sweetie :| you's live too far away and he is older (alot older) If you ever met up he might force you into doing things that are illegal and if you got into a serious relationship you could get really hurt.
As for this dating sight im guessing you stated you were 18 and didnt tell them about your age becaus you do need to be 18 to register with any sight aimed only for adults.
I think you should forget dating websites and meeting people online, your still very young. Go out have fun and meet someone you'r own age ! :)
Good luck and i hope you make the correct decison x
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Hi,
I am sure you're a good person, but its hard not to get upset? Really? Then, I remind myself that you're 14 years old? So I should shut up and be kind, because it would be very rude and I'll be a big hypocrite trying to have an argument with you.
I didn't know that dating websites allow minors to become members? a 14 years old can be a member? Hmm..??
I am going to be honest and crush your dreams righ away:
Reasons why:
1) You're a minor!
2) Its illegal!
3) Distance? Really?
I am sure you think you are mature enough to love or date, so whatever we say, u won't listen, unless you agree? I know I sound like ur mother and I am rude, but its because I am human enough to care when I see something wrong.
Lastly, age difference doesn't matter when it comes to love. Its ok when they're adults, example 30"s dating 40's, 30's dating 60's and so on, doesn't matter if the female is older and vice-versa. But, we're talking about adults.
Its your life, make your decisions wisely...
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (29 June 2011):
 The soul is ageless, but just be careful. Do not do or say anything sexual until you are of full age.
Friendship is ok.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Hi Sweetness,
Of course the age difference is considerable, especially at your young age. You shall tell your mother or some adult you trust about it all. You can keep talking online with this guy only under an adult's supervision. In case he tries having any kind of sexual talk with you then report him immediately to the police, then tell your parents. You would be protecting not only yourself, but other young victims too.
I personally think he belongs behind bars, and shall serve very long years there. People like him are the reason I don't feel safe for my children online. You're a young beautiful princess. Don't do ANYTHING you're feeling uncomfortable with, and if you suspected anything then report him immediately. 21 year olds must stay FAR away from 14 year olds.
Be safe hun.
Emily
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Wait until you are old enough. Has he told you how he feels about your age? The age difference can be overcome, but only if you wait another 4 years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Sorry to be so blunt and sound pessimistic, but how do you know he means you no harm. Im sorry to say this but any guy who is 21 and looking at girls who are only 14 (underage) obviously cant get a girl his own age, for whatever reason. When he found out how old you are he should have brought the chatting/dating to a halt right there. I know he has probably said a great deal of things to make you feel comfortable and to trust him, but the fact remains that you have never met this guy. I guess what I am trying to say is be very very careful, the person behind the screen can be very different the person in real life. If u want to keep chatting to him then no one can stop you, if he loves you and is in it for the right reasons he will wait until your old enough. If he wont wait then you know he isnt satisfied with your personality and wants something else out of you. Waiting is the key here. Be cautious and even suspicious when meeting 'older guys' over the net (or even in real life) and look after yourself xo
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