A
female
age
30-35,
*ontFlirtWithSuicide
writes:Hey,so im 6 month pregnant and getting a ban on my ex for abusing me, i feel real bad as if IM in the wrong for him abusing me? but as many people said he was putting my baby in danger, im thinking about letting him come to the next scan with me is it a good idea? does he have the right to be involved with his baby?i dont know if i want the baby anymore i dont know if i can cope with it im only 14 and i dont think id make the best mom in the world anyway.id LOVE a baby but i dont think a baby would love me i dont think i have enough love to give the baby and i dont know if im the right person to give the baby love and the baby may grow to hate me because ive put bans against the babys father, i dont want to let my child down like ive let the father down aswel as my own family for being pregnant in the first place i just want the best for my child but i dont think i can provide that i feel very upset and dont know what to do any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): Please let me know what you decided to do about your baby.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (27 June 2007):
 You ARE NOT in the wrong for him abusing you. That is one of the powers an abuser puts over you. Makes you feel like its your fault and you deserve what's going on. YOU DIDN'T!
He does have a right as the babies father to be involved but if you are scared he will abuse you then report him to the police and get an injunction against him. The last thing you need whilst being pregnant is an abusive bloke around you.
You need to seriously think about what you want from life. I'm almost 6 months pregnant and have a fear my baby will hate me. It's bollocks as your baby will love you. At 6 months you have now passed the "under 24 week" abortion law so that isn't an option.
Have you felt your baby move yet? Don't panice if you haven't! It's the most amazing thing I have ever felt. I even love it when my babies kicking my insides to death!
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Do NOT make any more contact with this boy. I swear that he will mess everything up more if you let him back into your life. Yes, he may be the baby's father but he could never make a daddy. He has threatened to kill this baby. He should not be present at this scan.Hunni, your hormones are all over the place right now. Once you have that baby in your arms, I'm pretty sure you will not want to give it up. Adoption is a very very upsetting and hard to cope with situation. Are you sure you could handle the idea that this baby will grow up not knowing it's true mother?Are you prepared to have given only 9 months for this baby and not the rest of it's life?Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best x
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A
female
reader, DontFlirtWithSuicide +, writes (28 May 2007):
DontFlirtWithSuicide is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the help i think im going to have the baby after all =]
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Dont let your boyfriend back in - he wont have changed and does not deserve to be forgiven and a part of the babies life. If he has been abusive towards you then you are safer and happier without him.I think everyone thinks the same = they arent ready and arent good enough to be a parent. When the baby comes im sure you will make a lovely mum, have you got support from your family?Adoption is a major decision and one that will be with you for the rest of your life. Are you prepared to give up your baby?
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Do not under any circumstances let an abusive boy back into your life. It is time to speak to adoption agencies to arrange for a family to adopt your child. There are so many wonderful people out there with the finacial and emotional resourses available to them, that you dont have, to give this child a good and stable life. They are desperate to have a child and cant, and would love to have yours to raise as their own. The baby is the only one who matters now. Not you. You must ensure that the baby has the best possible life you can give it. And that, my dear, means giving it up for adoption. There are many options these days, including open adoption so that you can stay in touch with your child and know him/her as they grow and they can know you. Begin your research and planning right away so that everything can be in place when the baby is born.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (28 May 2007):
 If your boyfriend is abusing you, NO, don't let him back into your life. There are alternative ways of raising a child at your age. Have you spoken to your parents? I've known a few parents who have raised a child of their own child as if it was theirs. Or, if you can at least get your parents support while you try and raise the child. You can place the child up for adoption, but I'd consider that option only if your parents won't help support you. Don't do anything without considering the long term consequences. Your baby comes before anything else. You can raise her/him if you put your heart and soul into it. One day, you'll live to be glad that you did.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (28 May 2007):
 I think that you should have the baby and put it up for adoption, to a family that's ready to take care of it. Your ex should NOT be present, or have a say at all as far as you and/or the baby are concerned.
DV1
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A
female
reader, batman +, writes (28 May 2007):
 look u probley won't make a great mom nobodys perfect and inless ur ex has changed some how and wants to see, be apart of, and wants to help u and the babys life then u shud let him come to the next scan but to have an abortion or give it up thats up to u but my personal opinion i think its wrong to have an abortion i mean thats just killing human life and to give the baby up think about this: one day when he/she is about 9-10 something like that ask "where/who is my mom" now i don't want to make it where u think u want to keep the baby but u really no that u don't want the baby.
Good Luck
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