A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hey everyone. Im just here to ask for a few words of wisdom and advice. Im a 14 year old male who's going through alot at the moment and its tearing me down.Im a currently a freshman in highschool and with all the grades/test/classes/and drama it adds on more stress and sometimes i feel like i cant take it anymore. my life is not a farytale...far from it.I always get the end of the stick.Nothing good ever happens to me and it seems like its only getting worse. I know i dont have self esteem problems..but some times i get really insecure, i dont like the way i look, i dont like the way talk..and i constantly look at myself in the mirror and cry, cuz there's nothing i can do about that. i have no one to tlk to.. i dont get along with my parents at all, and my 11 year old sister frustrates me so idont get along with her either. i dont really have anyone to tlk to..i dont really have a good friend that'll always be ther for me. im not very social after i come from school....because of my parents. it would take hours to explain my life story, and this is just a summary.And im not here to ask pity or for u to feel sorry for me. I just need to know what u think.I just need ur advice..how can i change my life around? How do i deal with all the stress...cuz im always depressed.and i dont know what to do. to be honest, i believe things will start changing when im out of highschool..away from my parents and on my on. so please any thoughts and advice is greatly appreciated. sorry for writing so long.
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female
reader, LauraWindy  +, writes (11 September 2009):
Reading your post was like reading something I used to write when I was 14. I can see exactly where you're coming from, since I felt the same way when I was your age.
Sweetie, I know this is a cliche line but you have your whole life ahead of you. Something great will eventually happen when you least expect it to. I know what it's like to believe that you're going to be doomed for your entire life because I felt the same way too, but believe me, there's a lot to look forward to and times will eventually get better before you know it.
You say you haven't got a problem with your self esteem, but from what you say I realize that you do need some support to enhance it. We all have been insecure at least once in our lifetime, sometimes it's more serious than we thought it was and it makes us face other obstacles that shouldn't be there. I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with the way you look or talk, and you should always keep in mind that looks aren't in any way everything. The most important tool is the mind itself, which is way more complex than external appeariance. What you should do is focus on developping your inner beauty, and believe me, through it the whole you will shine. Of course there will be always shallow people who will judge you based on your looks even if there's absolutely nothing wrong with them, but you shouldn't let such people use up your energy and well being. It's just not worth it. Good looks are only temporary, they fade away with time but a great heart and personality is something that'll last for all of your life.
I believe what you should do first of all, is try to improve your self esteem. Love yourself for who you are, don't hate yourself for something you want to be but can't. I know from experience that once someone becomes comfortable with who they are and believe in their capabilities, roads that used to be out of their league open.
Don't let school put that much of pressure on you. Being a good student is surely important, but it's going to be difficult to accomplish it if you're always feeling stressed and under pressure. Organizing your time so that you have plenty of time to study and plenty of time to do something fun is the best thing you can do. I don't mean to make you lose courage, but high school is only a part of life, and life won't be easy at all at its most, so each one of us should learn how to cope with the present than wait for the big "bam" in the future.
As for friends, it's honestly never too late to find someone who really cares for you. You said you're not very social, well, let me tell you one thing; Being social doesn't mean you have to be friends with as many people as possible. I figured that a couple, trustworthy friends that you know won't abandon you when you need them is the best thing one could have. Have you ever thought that a friend could be discovered out of school? I know most of my friends weren't from school.
If at the moment you have no one to talk to like you say, have you thought of talking to a psychologist? It could a psychologist your school offers, and it's never that hard to find a professional to talk to about your anxieties and problems. I did that when I was your age, and it helped letting it all out. They will also help you enhance your self esteem.
Also, feel free to pm me here if you want. :) I'll be glad to listen to you.
Good luck~
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