A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay guys, please help.To understand this question, I feel you need to know the full story... well the significant bits anyway.2005. I'm 14 and fancy the pants of this guy in our group. He's all I think about and we get along really well, my best friend fancies another lad in the group [this will become significant later on]. I get someone else out of the group to tell him I like him. Nothing happens, but as time goes on, the lad a I fancy begins to admit that he fancies my best friend [i can still remember that day, I spent ages crying on the beach]. Eventually I began to think that I was getting over it, and got close to another guy in the group [by now its 2006, and I'm 15] who is best friends with the lad I 'used to' fancy. This lad asks me out and I say yes [young and naive], three weeks later [I could actually tell you the exact date and time] the guy I 'used to' fancy, asks out my best friend. She knew how i felt about this guy but still said yes. For a while i convinced myself into believing that it was great that me and my best friend were going out with two best friends, but eventually things turned sour in my relationship [if you'd like the full story see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/emotionally-abused.html where i gave an answer to a question... the answer begins with 'Hey, Okay here goes...'] and we eventually finish [i think you will need to see the link i have just given]. A while after getting myself back into the real world again, me and the old guy start talking on msn, and get along really well, we chat long into the night about anything and everything [he is still with my best friend] and all of the old feelings start rushing back, and i realise they never actually went away. After a while i try so hard not to rush back into that as i don't want to hurt my best friend, so i stop speaking to him for a while. Fast forward to 2008, and the group starts going out again, me and this guy talk a lot about anything and everything, and realise how much we have in common. [i really feel that no matter how much i explain it, that nobody will understand...] I still don't do anything because of my best friend, who he is still with. They start arguing a lot, and he uses every excuse to get out of seing her, instead coming on msn all of the time, never mentioning her, and always speaking to me. I keep acting like we are only friends, but here we are in 2009, and i realise i have liked this guy for four years and i really don't know what to do, it's killing me now, but i can't move on because i don't like anyone else but him, but i can't persue anything because of my best friend. He means so much to me, i think i may even love him. My best friend has now been saying that if two people like each other they should just go out with each other, regardless of anyone elses feelings, but they should give it a while to make sure they don't rub it in anyones faces [she said this because one of our friends [lets call him 'B'] was going out with 'C', they split up, and 'C' got with one of our friends 'M' two weeks later] I kinda feel like my best friend is giving me the go ahead even though she doesn't know how I feel, and i'm not planning on telling her, as she is my best friend and i would never do anything to hurt her. I'm sorry that i have gone on for so long, but i really need help... thanks xox
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Having Problems??? +, writes (23 February 2009):
im afraid that if you want your fairy tale ending ure going 2 have 2 tell your friend. if she knew how u felt about him then she shouldnt have sed yes 2 him and clearly they have a rocky relationship so i think u and ure friend need 2 hac a heart 2 heart and tell her u dnt want 2 loose her as a friend but he means more to you now more than ever and explain wot u talk about on msn im sure if she is your best friend she will understand. good luck let me know how it goes x
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