A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok..so, hi! i'm 15 years old and kinda depressed. all of my female friends are having sex and i feel totally left out. i'm not saying that i'm just going to go do it for the hell of it, but still..it bothers me that i feel like i can't talk to them about it anymore. i am 100% totally and completely terrified to ever have sex. i can't even put a freaking tampon in. lately i've been trying to just slowly put one finger in myself but it hurts too bad. is there something wrong with me? i don't have a boyfriend right now, but i'm sure someday soon i will and though sex isn't in my immediate plans i might consider being "fingered" if thats what the guy really wants. just please help calm me down about this because i feel like i'm never going to have sex because it'll hurt too bad!! and i want to at least be able to have that option
View related questions:
depressed, tampon Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Hormonally speaking you should be gagging for it at this stage.
The fact that even the slightest touch of mastubation gives pain leads me to believe the hang-up is much deeper then just sex.
Talk to a counselor because fearing sex is not natural. If it were humans would have dies off long ago.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, Chibichan10 +, writes (22 August 2008):
All these answers are great advicebut you also need to knowThat sex it so much more than just a pshsical act. It is meant for two people who care about eachother more than anything to enjoy. And no matter how much a boy might try to tell you that he cares, you need to know that you deserve so much better. Everyone might be doing it, but honey they will regret it. Enjoy being young and innocent. When you meet the right man, sex with come naturally, and at the right moment. And because that person is meant for you, it wont hurt.Just stay strong.
...............................
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (22 August 2008):
 I first want to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you. This is just how you are, don't worry, sometimes being like every one else is not the best thing in the world.
Now, the next thing I'll tell you is that sex is a very natural act. And although it might hurt for the first couple of times, it will become more and more pleasurable as much as you keep on doing it.
And don't worry, it won't hurt as bad as you think. For some women, it hurts to a medium degree, to others it doesn't hurt at all. To me, it didn't hurt at all, but I know it hurt somewhat to some of my friends.
But the best thing you could do is to give your virginity to someone you care deeply about and that cares deeply for you, and who you know deeply in your heart that will be for you all the time. I guarantee you that if you end up having sex with someone you love (and who loves you back), that will not matter it will hurt, but what would matter is that both of you will get a connection deeper than you had before.
But with sex, there's also consequences. The consequences do not only apply to the woman (pregnancy, stds...) but to the relationship as well. Sex would probably make your relationship stronger only if you two are ready for it and you two feel deeply for each other, but if you two arent ready for it, it will destroy it.
So don't feel bad for not being able to talk to your friend about sex. You can still talk about it even when you don't have that much experience. You could read all about it on many places on the internet or through books.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 A girl your age is best off is she doesn't have sex. Sex comes along with many other things which you are too young to handle just yet.
Your friends may be having sex, or may be lying about having sex, but that doesn't mean you should be having it. Yes, you might feel like you can't talk with your friends about that particular experience, but then I hope sex isn't all you talk about all the time.
The only problem I see here is your idea that sex is something scary. It shouldn't feel that way for you. If we weren't meant to have sex, we wouldn't have genitals. Just make sure you get into it when you're old enough to handle it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): i'm 15 years old too, and i'm the only one in the crew who's still a virgin. but you know, you an ask them about sex. i always ask my cousin about sex stuff, and she's willing to tell me :)
...............................
A
female
reader, heretohelp-kirsty  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 well you shouldnt want to have sex or feel left out because your friends have but if it hurts inserting a finger maybe you should do it more often so you will get used to it more when your ready so hopefully it wont hurt as much as you think . nothing to worry about , let me know . good luck . kirstyy x
...............................
|
