A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend that is very insecure about himself. He was this way before our relationship, but I made it much worse. See, I was not over my first boyfriend when I started dating him. He was my rebound guy. I compared him to my ex and said some extremely hateful things. It took a year into our relationship for me to discover that I was being a b*tch and that my boyfriend really loved me.I fell in love with him. We will have been together 3 years in June, but he still has not forgiven me for the pain I caused him in the beginning of the relationship. I have apologized and really tried to be the best girlfriend I can be, but he is still insecure. He says that we don't have sex enough. He says that I still want my ex, which could not be further from the truth. He brings up our sex life all the time. I'm really heartbroken that he can't forgive me. I wish he'd stop keeping track of how much we have sex and badgering me about it. I can't deal with his resentment of me forever. I know I was wrong, but enough is enough. He taxes my emotions to the extreme. There is no way that we can be happy unless he lets this go. What should I do?
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (27 January 2011):
For any given insecure guy, letting go the subject of his girlfriend's ex-boyfriends is not easy. Your case seems to be much worse as you seem to have said too much.
Two years is enough to try. I think both of you will be happier if you break up.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 January 2011):
He'll never let this go. I'm afraid the damage here has been done for some time. Admittedly he was insecure beforehand, but I don't see any way of him being able to get over what you've done if it has been three years. He will always resent you for what you did, and I think on the strength of that, you're better off leaving.
Forgiving is very hard when you've been hurt badly. He won't forgive you. So it's best to leave.
Please also learn this for the future, because whilst your boyfriend took it, most stronger and more secure men simply won't.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Break up. Sorry, but I don't see what alternatives there are. I'm amazed he stuck wth you at all if you were a bitch to him for a year and kept comparing him to your ex. He obviously loved you very much. You obviously shouldn't have been dating at the time and this chap deserved better at your hands.
You say he wants more sex but don't say how often you do have it. Maybe there is a real issue here with mismatched drives? Or perhaps, if you don't have sex very often, because of what YOU said in the past, I could understand why he might think this is all part of the 'not as good as your ex' syndrome that you started.
I think you should split up, but recognise your behaviour was at fault and caused it so that you don't ever treat some poor bloke like this again.
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