A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 17, there's a friend of mine who's 14 and she admitted she liked me, i like her too, but i keep lying to her and say, dont, because i know it would never work, and i would feel like i'm taking advantage of her and it would be too innapropriate. Before this happened we used to talk all the time, and we still talk, she's one of the only people i trust completely, and she trusts me and i cant stop thinking about her. when im not talking to her - the only thing i think about is when i'll see her again. i dont know what to do i cant keep lying to her, i cant keep talking to her without exprseeing how i feel, but i'll never be able to have her out of my life. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): If she is mature and intelligent thena) it shouldn't be a problemb) she will not have sex until she is of legal ageBut that doesn't stop you from having a relationship.Loving and trusting the other person is more important to a relationship than age.But why are you lying to her? If you like her, tell her, it will make her happy and honesty is honesty is always the best policy. Just tell her you want to wait a few years before having a relationship ... or alternatively you could just start seeing her now, as long as you don't pressure her into sex when she doesn't feel ready.She probably feels awkward talking to you because she is upset that her feelings aren't recipriocated and you remind her of the pain she feels.Why would it be innapropiate? It's only three years, and teenage girls are generally of equal maturity to guys a few years older. However, the fact that YOU feel it is inappropiate shows that it probably is, 'Age is an issue of mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.' If you do mind then it's probably inappropiate.You are not taking advantage of her unless the relationship is unequal or you only want her for sex; from what you've written I don't think this is true x
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