| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: what does it mean when your boyfriend is using dating web pages without telling you? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, amcfoxy +, writes (22 May 2006):
 maybe hes just looking,if hes meeting up with others then its really bad,have you asked him why he is looking does he know you know?if he does tell him you dont like him doing that and how would he feel if shoe was on other foot...
A
female
reader, joanna44 +, writes (22 May 2006):
 hes looking at other options, hes not a trust worthy person, just ask him straight WHATS GOING ON!
gd luck chicken
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): I think it means he is looking or rather advertising.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 May 2006):
 He is waiting and actively looking for something better to come along.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 May 2006):
 It means you should tell him you have caught him and know what he is up to...he maybe just browsing but if it upsets you then tell him to stop.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (5 May 2006):
 It really might mean nothing at all. Really. It depends.
The question is: has he posted up a public profile that is likely to get him dates, or has he replied to any personals?
If not, then he's probably just surfing around and engaging in idle escapist fantasy (something plenty of men do, which is mostly harmless). Looking at women's profiles on dating sites (or myspace or whatever) is like looking at women walking past the cafe you're sitting at. It's window shopping, not real shopping, there's no intention to 'buy', and nothing to worry about unless it gets obsessive or becomes a substitute for his affection for you.
However, if he has a serious profile up (especially if it has a photo), or is answering ads, then its a whole different situation. In that case, talk to him straight away about it and ask him directly (but not aggressively) what he was doing. Be open minded about the answer, it may be that he really doesn't want to leave you, and that its just a sign that something in your relationship needs fixing. If so, try to find out what that thing is rather than writing him off. It may also be that he wants to leave you but hasn't gotten up the courage to admit it to himself or you yet. Sometimes people end relationships by doing stupid things to mess everything up, rather than just being honest that they want up. They generally do this because they are not confident enough to deal with their partner directly.
One other thing. I'm guessing you found this out by looking in his browser history or similar? If so, you should be prepared to tell him why you felt the need to look in his browser history (unless you just discovered this by accident). If this comes up, be completely honest about why you did it, don't make up a half-truth. If you want the truth from him its only fair you give him the truth in return.
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (5 May 2006):
 it means that he is looking to meeto someone else and doesn't wnat you many more
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