A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27 and have been with this guy for almost 9 years. We broke up about 3 1/2 years ago for a whole year. Since we have been back together everything is great.We just purchased a home last year, and we have been engaged since for 6 months. I'm not sure if I love him as much I should.I love him so much, but it's almost like more of a friend love. After breaking his heart once,I told myself I would never do that again. Recently I ran into someone who I had a relationship with when we were split up for that year (someone that I never stopped thinking about till this day). But since than I have been having second thought about the wedding. But I can't break his heart again. But i'm afraid if I get married,I may not be happy. I just don't know what to do. If you're in love with someone and planning a wedding, should you even be thinking about someone else? I just don't want to break his heart again. Please help someone!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): When the day comes when you are not happy (and it will), his heart will break. Even the most faithful, loyal person cannot have complete control over their connection with another being. Right now he may be blinded by the excitement of the engagement.. but eventually he will see the failed connection. Obviously you do love him. It doesnt matter what "kind" of love you feel for someone, when you love that person you put them first. Be his friend and let him go. You wont be breaking his heart, you will be saving him (and yourself) from a passionless marriage. Dont settle. Not only do cheat yourself by settling on him, you deceive him into settling down with you. There is someone out there who can have those passionate feelings for him and be happy with him. Let him have her -and hopefully it will allow you to find a lifetime of happiness.
A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (28 April 2007):
Sometimes the friend love is better then the lusty passionate kind. You have to think if you are going to be with this person for the rest of your life, you have to be able to talk to him... and just enjoy each others companionship. This bond is better then the "hot to trot" lust that some people marry for... as the lust slowly fades and there is nothing left. While it is natural to be attracted to other people while dating/married... you just have to keep in mind what is truely important. Take some time with your fiancee, go away for the weekend and see if you feel renewed as a couple. Sometimes the daily grind gets to people.. hope this helps!
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