A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well it jus a question that i know i am the oe toanswer but i would like someone elses point of view. i am 15 in a fortnight. my ((bf/exbf)) is 17 i went out with him for 2 and a half months but i sed i didnt want to sleep with him and he sed ok thats fine and heseemed ok with it but then i finished him because he raped me and forced me to do other things too. even though i really love him i sed no when he asked me 2 go bak out with him 3 weeks later. do you think i should go back out with him. i want to but think im better off without him:S i love him but dunno if hewill du it again. advice if poss plsxxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, danielle rudolph  +, writes (23 December 2007):
 Sweetheart you need to report this okay because you and him need help. so please take my advice.
A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (30 April 2007):
I was raped at 17 and I'm now 33. I've regretted it for the rest of my life that I didn't report him. He is dead now. He died from AIDS, fortunately I didn't contract anything from him, but I still go every 6 months for a test. Death for him hasn't made me feel there has been any justice for him as I am still living with it now. Unfortunately for you there is no rape kit (horrible name) something they perform when you've gone to hospital. However, that doesn't mean to say it is over. You may have lacerations and your word of what happened is also the main point. This boy will continue to do this, believe me if he feels he can get away with it. If he can do this to you, have you asked yourself who else he has done this too? Go to your doctor, get examined, have some tests done and report him. He cannot continue to do this to ANYONE again, including you. Stay away from him and make sure you aren't anywhere near him. Do not go near him. Tell a teacher or counsellor but report this waste of space before he does it again to you or someone else. You are better than him everyday. You know what has happened to you and you know it was wrong. Simple, report him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): hi its the writer of the question sorry if i have confused people but both the questions that seem the same are both rote by me. i wanted to explain a little bitmore on the other one and i didnt think it had posted. xx thanx for helpin ne wayz xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): Odd, how there are two of these threads of the same thing, but like I said on the other...
Well, there has been a recent flux of new threads about this very similar issue. I think to stand out and away from the norm of sugar coated supportive replies, I'll be a bit harsher here (this reminds me of an argument I had with Irish over a year ago).
Look, most right-minded individuals here on DC will tell you that you will make a big mistake by going back to such a [insert vulgar word here] jerk, and that you probably deserve better, and that you are only in love with this guy because you don't love yourself enough, etc, etc, etc. However, I'll change that usual pace and tell you that you should go back to him. Hey, some people 'deserve' second chances, and your ex is no exception. Sure, he is a [insert vulgar word here] and a [insert vulgar word here] which I would gladly push off a cliff and land a giant boulder on his [insert vulgar word here] ass, but well that's just me.
If he hurts you again, and you still don't learn to stop doing such mistakes again and again, then well, you deserve to be hurt. However, I have just have to say, do you have absolutely NO dignity and self-preservation of pride and honor? This boy who raped you... My gosh! And you're asking if you should give him a second chance.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): He raped you and you're thinking of going back out with him?
Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?
If he raped you, he doesn't care about you, he just wants sex, he won't feel any different now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): Don't do this to yourself. There may be something about the guy that you like, but no matter what, he always will be the one who hurt you. In a relationship, the foundation must be trust, and you can't trust him anymore. If you get stuck in a relationship with him now, you may never escape it until he winds up in jail. In abusive relationships it doesnt take long until the bruises start to show and your family starts to get worried. There are plenty of nice guys out there, and at 15, you shouldn't even have to worry about a relationship. Your future is in danger if you go back with this guy.
And I know you probably won't do it, but you really should talk to a trusted adult about what happened. I understand that you still kinda like this guy, but realize what he really is - a rapist. If you don't stop him, he might do this to someone else (even while you are in a relationship with him)
My prayers are with you. Do the right thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): I can't believe you would consider seeing him if he forced himself on you. This is very dangerous, he sounds like a criminal in the making if he is not one already....usually a boy becomes what he will be in adulthood character in tact by the age of 15. He will most definately do this again to you. He is showing a pathological (mentally ill) disregard for your basic humanity, he is wanting to abuse and control you, not love you.
You need to report the rape to your parents, and then possibly the authorities so that he does not do this to another girl. I don't understand your reaction to the rape, why you would even consider stepping within 1 foot of this guy is just beyond my comprehension. I am sorry this happened to you....in my opinion, you are way to young to have sex and have your innocence taken away like this.....my prayers are with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): My dear, I think you just answered your own question.
He raped you and forced you to do other things. That shows a profound lack of respect for you, and no consideration of who you are and what you want. If you do go back to him, there's a good chance this will happen again.
It seems to me you were right to end it with him and refuse to go out with him when he asked you after three weeks.
You yourself say you think you're better off without him.
Stay with that decision and next time - if there is a next time - he calls or emails, tell him you do not want to hear from him again, not then, not ever. He doesn't deserve you.
Sorry to hear you had such an awful experience with this man.
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A
female
reader, leesweetheart +, writes (28 April 2007):
 NO NO NO NO sorry hun but no. he raped you and that is a definate no no. he should have been reported to the police but thats a different point entirely. if hes done it once whos to say he wont do it agen later down the line. do not put yourself in that position at all tell him to leave you alone for good or you will report him to the police for what he did to you. not only wud it b rape but you can add statutory rape to the sheet aswell as you are under 16. leave him well alone and move on you r so much better off without him in yourr life
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): Why are you even asking such a retarded question? Im sorry to be so blunt, but if he raped you you should automatically what not to do. And that would be to not get back together with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): No. He doesn't care about you, all he cares about is himself, you are just an object to him. Please seek counselling for this even if you don't think you need it, from one rape victim to another.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): Absolutely not! You're young, you need to move on. This boy will do it again. If you go back to him, he will know that you are naive and he will take advantage of you. He does not love you. He doesn't know what love is. If you haven't told anybody, you need to. Let someone know of the incident, just in case he decides to come after you again. Do not give him another chance, that would make you look ignorant. Hold on to some of your dignity as a young woman. This will stay with you and have a large impact on your decisions with men in the future. Be Careful and stay away from him.
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A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (28 April 2007):
 Any guy who would rape you doesn't care about you the way you want. You're only 15, you're SURE to find someone better out there who loves, honors, and respects you. I think its best if you just cut this dude off completely and better yet, report him for what he did to you.
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A
female
reader, ms.stressed +, writes (28 April 2007):
No no no!! Do NOT get back with this guy, he sounds very dangerous, if you get back together with him that will only send out the message to him that he can do whatever he wants to you. And he probably will again because he'll know he can get away with it and you'll just come crawling back to him. Talk to someone, there are a lot of good charities out there who will take what you say confidentially if you don't feel comfortable discussing it with someone you know. But whatever you do, do not get involved with this guy again! I wish you the best of luck.
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