A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If your fella cheated on you and then got into a relationship with her, but months later is telling you that he is looking out for you and still cares about you what would you make of it? I do not want him back at all as I believe I deserve better but what do you think she would think of him saying something like that to me? Do you think it would bother her? Just curious! I know it would bother me but what are other peoples opinions please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): personally if someone lied, and cheated on you, destroyed your world and then tells u they still care/got your back??? that doesnt hold any water. it is actions and not words that speak voumes. they tell u these things JUST TO MAKE THEMSELVES FELL BETTER.think about it: cheaters are their own worse enemy. they have no cooking clue of a sense of doing right......yet the words that come out of their mouths are mere empty words.after all is said and done, how can u even trust them and their words, when it is their actions and their betrayal that reflect the type of people they truly are.as for cheaters claiming guilt - that is hogwash. if they were sooooooooo guilty they would never destroy the very people they claim to care about.person ally cheaters believe their own crap and are often self centred, they believe that the outside world owes them something for feeling guilty.when someone leaves a partner because of cheating, it reflects their character and their value system.as for his lover/mistress, it doesnt matter what she thinks. you should not even waste any time thinking of her and what she may feel about his so call affection towards you. indifference is the key here.its good to note that u dont want the cheater back. after all i frimly believe once a cheater, always a cheater....LoveGirl
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): I recently divorced from my wife of 15 years and am now engaged to the woman I left her for. The marriage fell apart mutually, and I was rejected many times. However, I was the one to put the nail in the coffin, and i will never forgive myself for the guilt of what I put her through. I respect and love her still, because she is my partner of 22 years and the mother of my child. I've told her so many times, and trust me, it is truly soulfully heartfelt. She appreciates it, and my fiancee knows I feel this way. It is logical and human...I had a significant relatiosnhip with her and you can't turn that off like a lightswitch just because of what happened or how it happened. And you cant live with hatred, guilt and disdain your whole life. People make mistakes. Actually, we are all grateful it happened now, because we are all in better relationships and much happier.
I know my fiancee doesn't feel great when I get spells of missing my family or the life I once had, but she understands. In my situation, I will have a lifelond bond with my ex because of my son and the fact we have vowed to be the best co-parents we can. It isn't easy, but it is much better this way and we all know it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): tell him to look out for his girlfriend because you will not be helping him to cheat on her.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 I retract my prior answer. A person who forms strong attachments doesn't cheat.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): I am the one who asked the question.
No he just cheated on me, out of the blue, I didn't hurt him. He has even admitted that I was a good wife and I did nothing wrong to be treated the way he treated the way he treated me. I am not perfect, far from it but I know I didn't deserve what he did to me. I know I deserve better and do not want him back.
She cheated on her fiancee with him, her fiancee was his best friend and this isn't the first time she has done this, she is a very jealous person.
I was just curious as to how you think she would react if she found out he had been saying that stuff to me?
I did tell him when he said he was looking out for me that I wasn't his problem anymore and anything that happens in my life is none of his business. We do however have a 13month old little boy together so I suppose I will always feel something for him but he has hurt me so much and I am trying to be civil with him for my childs sake has I still want my son to have a relationship with his dad so I am very careful with what I say to him.
I can't deny that if she found out that he had said that to me and it upset her I wouldn't be happy about it because I would be pleases if she found out but I am not going to be the one to do that, has I have decided I need to be the bigger person and get on and thats exactly what I intend to do. I know a couple of people over heard what he said to me thats all and there is a possibility of her finding out.
Tanks for your comments!!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 July 2011):
For the dissenting vote: My Daughter is like that. She forms very strong bonds. I say your ex is a protective kind of guy who forms strong bonds. BTW yes, it would bother her to think he is talking to you. More so that he used the word Care. Also, on a safety note. "looking out for you", could be code for spying on you, thus Reds reply.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): I think its just him trying to make himself look better in your eyes, so as he doesn't look like a total jerk, he still cares and he will look out for you.
With people like that looking out for you who needs enemies.
Well my response to that would be thanks but im quite capable of looking after myself.
Good Luck.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): I would say that a) he's getting bored with the new woman and testing the waters with you cos the grass wasn't greener after allb) he's having an attack of guiltI'd go with (a) but either way he's not worth another thought is he?
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (26 July 2011):
 My first question would be (if this was said to me)
Exactly how are you looking out for me?
I have had something similiar happen where a cheater told me he still cared for me. I said "Thanks, but Im no longer interested. You should have cared enough for me NOT to cheat."
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