A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:She called yesterday and she called today. She texted a few days ago just wanting to know how I am. We broke up. Well, technically as she would put it, I broke up with her over two weeks ago. Yet, she still contacts me. If the relationship is over then why does she keep contacting me? We didn't have the talk about remaining friends. I did try to get her back when I "broke up with her" but she practically ignored my request.I accepted it and vanished from her life. I honestly don't mind just forgetting about her. I do miss her but I've been in enough relationships to know that friendship afterwards could never work out. I'd rather spare myself the pain and move on. But why won't she do that too? Why does she keep calling me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013): Yep, I agree. I was just the recipient of a break up about 3 months ago, and yet my ex GF continued to contact me, ask me for coffee, be in touch and so forth. Said she just wanted to be friends. This is torture, because I did not want to break up, but I didn't have any choice in the matter. The problem is that when she would call I would think that this is the time we'll get back together, and I'd keep hoping and hanging on. I honestly could not do NC because, again, this was not my choice, but in retrospect, it is the responsibility of the dumper to go NC out of respect to the dumpee. It's not fair to those of us who are left behind, and we end up hanging on. You need to ignore her contacts. If you must, you can let her know that you need NC to move on and that will be the end. Otherwise, you are just keeping her in a state of limbo. That is the worst thing you can do to someone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): There's no hostility, my apologies if that's how it came off.
I don't see why you don't get it though. People find it hard to let go, will want to contact you if they're still thinking about you and miss you.
You still didn't answer my question OP, why does it matter why and why aren't you sparing her this grief by cutting contact?
You know friendships don't work, and you won't stop her contacting you and chasing a lost cause, is it an ego thing? You like the fact she can't let go and you're curious to know what it is that's so great about you that she can't? Because that's how it sounds to me.
OP she obviously can't deal with the fact of losing you, she can't help herself and stay away, do you not think it would be best to stop her contacting you? Or is there some reason you continue to play this game?
If you want her back fight to have her back, you don't need confirmation that she's still interested to pursue her. If you don't think the relationship is ever going to work then stick by your own belief and cut her off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCerberus, I don't think there's a need for the hostility. My question was simple. Why is it that she's contacting me even after we've broken up. In my case friendship after relationships doesn't work but I'm still CURIOUS why she won't let go. Maybe I'd like to know if she wants to get back together or not. I CAN go NC if I have to but at the time being I'm just confused as to why she won't stop texting me.Thank you 1st anon for your responce. I don't know if she still likes me or not. It wasn't the best relationship and we definitely didn't have much in common. We disagreed on a lot of things. It was to the point where I wondered why we even kept it going and so I kinda let it slipped that maybe this relationship was pointless. She took it as a breakup. I doubt she wants to get back together because I opened that option almost immediately after the separation. She ignore it. I decided that she didn't want to be together again so I went my own way. Now she's texting and calling to check up on me after only a few days of silence. I still like her alot despite our differences so this is why I keep answering her call. I just wish I could ask her why she doesn't stop without offending her. She easily takes everything in a negative light.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): Actually OP the question is more, if you're a person who doesn't believe in friendship after then why are you responding to her shit?
Who cares why she is doing what she's doing, she's really only doing it because she knows she'll get a response.
She's obviously finding it hard to let go, so why the hell are you keeping her hanging like that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): Hi i can see where she's cumin from me and my ex broke up 6 wks ago after we broke up i kept texting him i know it was stupid i used pick fights with him over trust issues i think when she does.nt hear from u she worries that u have moved on and ur after forgetting about her i feel my ex does.nt care about me any more i'm trying no contact with him now which is very hard i still love him
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