A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is a scout leaders, he deals with all kind of males and femails of different ages, at some piont i was under his command and we loved each other.He is very sweet with everyone, very respectfull and generous and that is why i love him, alonge with many other girls.Never the less he choose me to be his future wifeThe problem is the girls hitting on him are many, and he does tell me about all, i feel weird when i hear him telling about what they did in pride and shining eyes, as if he has done some kind of achievemment, he likes the fact that women love him, and who wouldn't right!My question is i hate it, is it normal that he say it in such excitment?Should i tell him to stop? Should i ask him to change his sweetness manners now that we are together?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): You give all the reasons why you love him, then want to change him?If you need to change anything, change how you feel about the attention he receives for being a good person. He has a lot of loveable qualities, and he did chose you over others. If you "hate it" when he is flattered by all the attention he receives from women, you knew it before you accepted a marriage proposal. Now you're acting like he is a possession. A coveted prize to be shared with no one.You have to control your own insecurity. He is the same guy with all those qualities that you first became attracted to. Now you want him to stop being kind to others, wear a bag over his head, and be beholden to no one but you?You are even jealous that he is attractive to other females; which is also one of the traits that you like about him. Of all the things I've read in these posts, I've yet to read one that someone wants their mate to be undesirable to others. To stop being sweet and having manners?!!! It seems like bragging to you, because you are looking through the eyes of jealousy and insecurity. Don't put out the light that shines in his eyes. We need people like that.He's a scout-leader for heaven's sake lady!!!Be happy and feel blessed. Share in his joy and be happy for the both of you.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 Tell him that although it is nice that he gets attention, and you understand why as he is a lovely man, you do not have a need to hear about all the girls swarming over him. You know they are there, but you are not interested in hearing about it.
He should understand, and not say much about it again. If he asks why it bothers you, try to explain. But which such feelings it is not always easy to explain why, or put your finger on why. It just makes you uneasy. Not because you don't trust him, but perhaps they are a constant reminder of your competition, and subconsciously it is wearing you down? Because at some point it starts to remind one of bragging... But try to tell him as politely as possible that you aren't interested in hearing about the other women, without telling him he brags.
...............................
|
