A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've had a crush on a guy I met in my martial arts class for six months. I was super attracted to him from the beginning and I started flirting with him. Because of our interactions, I started getting the feeling that my feelings were mutual, but I also got these vibes that something was holding him back. So after about a month or so, I added him on Facebook and saw that he had a girlfriend back in his hometown. I was pretty surprised and bummed, but I realized that that was probably why I felt like he was flirting and staring/etc, but was keeping me at arms length.But he would do nice things like help me out a lot more in class than he would help out others, he personally wrapped my fingers for me and got me ice/tylenol, etc, when I jammed them in practice one day, etc. He is just always super nice. Anyway, back in November, he and his GF broke up. We started walking home together (he lives close by) and talking a lot over Facebook (commenting on each other's stuff a lot, two-three hr long back and forth convo's over private messages, yet we never quite got to the exchanging numbers part...lol!) I worked up enough nerve to ask him to hang out one day before break and he said we could go get a drink when we got back. We stayed in contact a lot over break and then after we got back I brought it up to him again. Then he basically told me that we could if it was "as a friendly thing" because he had just gotten out of a trainwreck of a relationship and needed some time to decompress and that he just really didn't want to lead me on. So I told him, okay, I appreciate you being honest and I respect that and that I hope I didn't make him feel uncomfortable because that wasn't my intent. I also told him we didn't have to do the whole hanging out alone thing in case that was a little too much. Things were a little awkward between us for a few days, but then we got back to walking home again and talking, etc. Then maybe a week when we were walking together, he randomly asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with him. So I said yeah and we went for pizza and he paid and stuff. We had a good time and it was whatever. I didn't have any expectations. We still write a lot to each other and talk a lot, flirt, joke around, etc. Lately I've noticed that we'll be staring at each other and then sometimes I'll make a joke out of it and make a face at him and then he makes one back. And then sometimes I feel like I get nothing from him. I do get the idea that he's at least attracted to me and I've never been wrong with that in the past when I get "vibes" from guys. But I do know where he stands at this point in his life. I guess he's still interested in his ex? Or just not over her or whatever. I want to get over him because I feel like it would be easier on me, but I think about him so much. It's not like I can not see him because I have practice multiple times a week and I'm not gonna just not go. What do you think about the situation?
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Hang in there it sounds like you are handeling things with him as well as anyone could.
You just have to wait it out, he knows you like him, and you see him 3 times a week, so I am sure he will let you know when he is ready.
Trust your vibes! But don't put the rest of your life on hold for him either.
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