A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey! Well... I have a problem. It's a long story because you'll need some background knowledge to really get what im talking about! Hahaha im a fickle one!Aaaanyway, there is this guy that i've known now for about 3 years and we started of well. Lets call him "1". We were best friends and we told each other everything! There was nothing I couldn't trust him with... But at that time there was also another guy (call him "2") who i was kind-of seeing at the time but the better I got to know 1 the stronger the feelings i had towards him became and before i knew it, I fancied the pants off him! Turned out that he liked me too and he asked me out, but for some strange reason i said no! It was because i didnt want to ruin our friendship or my friendship with guy 2 either... Completely the wrong decision and i still regret it to this day. And that was around 2 years ago now, and ever since then myself and guy 1 have been unable to talk to each other without it being awkward. It just wasnt like it used to be.Anyway, a few weeks ago, we all went into town to see one of our mutual friends and at the end there was about 8 of us (including guy 1), and everything was going amazingly! We (me and guy 1) were getting on like we used to! Joking about and laughing with each other. Hugging and acting completely normal... Then the atmosphere suddenly changed and before we knew it, we were kissing... And i mean reeally kissing. It happened 3 times that day and we said that it would go no further and that was that. So the next day we met up again, to talk things through and to sort it. Lets just say no talking was done. Now dont get me wrong. It was amazing.. It was the closest to him i'd been in ages, but now its all gone wrong.I knew it was a once (or twice) off, and i knew that it wasnt anything that would turn into a "relationship" but it stirred up all of the old feelings i had, or always have had for him.Now he is being really nippy to me telling me just to forget it and i havnt even said anything about my feelings towards him. All i said was that i wanted my old friend back again. And i really do... But now everything is up in the air and awkward again and i think he is annoyed with me... He also said that he wanted to be "friends with benefits" but im really not into that kind of thing. He said that we need to just "drop it" before we get any "feelings" towards each other because loads has changed... I just dont understand this seeing as it was him who kissed me first and said that he'd been "waiting 2 years for this".But all i want if it is possible is for someone to shed some light in this situation. Maybe give me some pointers or some advice that could help me either go back to having him as the most amazing best friend i have ever had or maybe being able to take it further (which i cant really see happening...) Please, just any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.x (p.s. sorry for rambling..)
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 It is really hard for people who have romantic/sexual feelings for each other to be friends. It is practically impossible. He considers you more than a friend and anytime he sees you it is in a romantic way...not a "friendly" way. You cannot go back to the way things were because his feelings are stronger than yours.
I agree with your guy friend that you should just "drop it". In other words, don't see each other anymore. You need to respect the fact that he cannot be friends with you and leave him alone.
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