| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy through an online dating site, but he lives in another state. For about two weeks, we talked on the phone everyday for hours at a time and texted and emailed each other throughout the day. He talked about moving to my state eventually and he planned to come see me one weekend. He said he loved me and I told him I loved him. But after the two weeks, he suddenly pulled back and stopped calling everyday and texting and emailing. I asked him about it, but he never answered. I asked him if he was going to come and visit me, but he said no. I told him that I'll be going to his state for an unrelated reason but that he should let me know if he has time to meet up (we have never even met in person) but he has been evasive. I thought that maybe he pulled back because he realized that the long distance would be too hard. I also think he's going through a difficult time. He seems like he's not happy in his job, that he did want to move away and start something new. I mostly think he's going through a difficult time because his voice message box is full (like he's not checking messages), it doesn't seem like he's working much (he owns his own business) and he's just disappeared.But at the same time, I think he is still interested because he texts and calls me every now and then still. He'll leave me voice messages about things that we have talked about and tell me about things that I like. I have a you tube page, and he watches it and will leave me messages about my videos. But I then just recently found out that he is back on the dating website with a new profile. I'm really confused. What happened? Why was he so into me and talking about our life together, about moving in together, about loving me. Then why would he suddenly pull back. And it's okay if he pulled back because maybe the distance would have been hard, and it seemed like he was going through something bad. But if he didn't like me, then why did he keep calling and texting me? And then why is he back on this dating website?
View related questions:
long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): You've heard the expression 'flash in the pan'. Well that's what this courting was. Anyone who claims they are in love with you after so short a period of time should be taken with a grain of salt.
I suspect he got caught up in the heat of the moment. The moment has passed and now he is back on the dating site pursuing other options.
Both of you moved way too quickly. After only two weeks of speaking you were already making life altering, long term plans together. Not a good idea.
Take it much more slowly next time.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 Keeping in touch with you is probably an ego boost for him when he needs it. He contacts you at HIS convieience.
He is not good boyfriend material and he led you on that he wanted and could deliver more to your life.
He is back on the dating website because he is keeping his options open.
Sadly, he does not have the courage to tell you that he is just not planning a life with you.
:( Best Wishes.
...............................
|
