A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: quick question can you love and be in love with some one that doesnt love you back ? if your partner cheats on you does that mean they dont love you ????or do they just not respect you !!!!!!!!!!!! Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LUVGOD +, writes (18 November 2010):
To be honest with you, we are all not perfect. I love my fiance so much because of who he is. I don't believe that my for him would possibly ever go away. We have been through so much together. We have been together since we were as young as 18 in our first year of college and after 3 of years of beeing together, we had our first child. In numerous occasions, I would take care of him before myself.As for him, well lets just say that he did more taking than giving but he did put forth some effort in our relationship. Our situation got pretty complicated. But to answer your question yes. Everyone is capable of loving even if they do make a major mistake in the relationship such as cheating. If they do it over and over again than they don't know how to love, if they are even in love at all. Not everyone is ready to be in a relationship. Not just the person who cheated, but the other person in the relationship may not know that they weren't ready to be in a relationship either. If both parties don't know how to love themselves first, then love others, than they will not have a REAL meaningful relationship that is so complex that there is way more to it than sex. Lust has little to do with a real relationship. In a real relationship you can't help but be happy with that person because all you want is happiness for each other. But if someone makes a mistake in a relationship such as infidelity and you both agree that you want to try to fix it, its best to give each other some space. Give each other time to grow! bc one of you or both of you need to work on themselves anyway! in order for this problem not to become a pattern, or in order to be able to move ahead from that situation without looking back one person is going to need time to heal and REALLY forgive and the other person is going to need to figure out what they want. Situations like this are not easy. But it is possible to fix.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): Me andthis guy has been together for over 7 years. We have 2 kids and 2 more by another marrige. The girl is married also her kids play sports with mine. He didnt have to tell me about it because i wouldnt had found out about it. The question is how do i start trusting again? How do i make sure his heart is back with me? Right now i want so much but i just dont know i can trust him. He also wants to let me know the detail like when where.
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A
female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (15 September 2007):
SADLY YES huni,the thing about falling in love, is that you have no control over who you fall in love with, even worse you cant make the object of your attections return your feelings!!!
From bitter experience i dont believe that just because your partner cheats he/she doesnt love you. There are a number of reasons why people cheat and it doesnt nessasery mean that, that reason has many think to do with you.
Sometimes people cheat not because they dont respect you but because they dont respect there selves.
The only way you get the answers is if you ask
xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): It means both he doesn't love you or respect you. And of course you can love someone who cheated on you especially if you JUST found out. I mean you might hate him for what he's done but love does not go away just like that. But if this guy has cheated on you repeatedly or you found out a long time ago and you STILL love him, then I would say that no I don't think it is possible to really love someone who's cheated on you. IN that case it just means that you don't love or respect yourself. And when you don't love yourself you can't truly love anybody else. That's what I think.I was cheated on by a bf once and I broke up with him but I didn't stop loving him. It took me a while to get over him even knowing that he had cheated. But I guess with him it was different and I'll explain why. He wasn't one of these pathological cheaters. These guys see nothing wrong with cheating even though they make you believe otherwise. You know what I mean? The kind of guys who can look you in the eye and tell you they love you and go behind your back and cheat on you and feel no remorse. He wasn't like that. His cheating was an isolated incident (my friend saw it so I knew all the details. ha!) But cheating is cheating. You got to move on, period.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (15 September 2007):
from personal experience, a parnter cheats when a relationship has gone bad, they want a quick exit and if you found he cheated then he left the clues for you to find. in terms of respect, a man who can go out and cheat with someone else whilst your blissfully unaware has no respect for you. respect is about trust and honesty, cheating is niether trustworthy or honest. it is deceietful and the worst form of betrayal. my advice - if you feel you love someone who doesn't love you back and he's cheated anyway, walk away with your dignity and head held high and you'll find someone who deserves your love. best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (15 September 2007):
Hmmmm....
Well, you can definitely love or be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. But be very careful when using the term "love" when describing feels for someone. Love is (or at least should be) a very powerful word that describes a deep emotional connection between you and the other person. Sometimes people say they "love" someone but just really, really, really "like" them.
There are some who will say that if your partner cheats on you that they don't love you. I'm not able to really expound on this as I've never cheated on someone I loved. I feel that if you love someone (or say you do), you're not willing to sacrifice the relationship you have with them by finding solace or comfort in another man or woman. It CAN mean that they don't respect you, or even more simpler don't respect the relationship you two share if someone cheats. If they respected the relationship, they wouldn't need to cheat.
Hope this helps.
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