A
male
age
36-40,
*damn im screwed
writes: hello thanx for reading this. your advice will surely be appreciated. excuse some of my typing errors. now that my wife found out about my about five minute affair , my life has been hell. i wsa able to hav my position switch so now im home. alot more. i havent seen my daughter in almost .. about three weeks if im not mistaken. i talked to my wife earlier on the phone. i was so suprised when she answereed. because she never does. i just told her how much i missed her and our daughter, and how much regret i have for my mistake. and it was a moment i wasnt thinking clearly. she just said that she undeerstands. but since i kept it from her she says she might never ever be able to trust me again. i tried explaining to her that the only reson i didnt tell her was because i was scared to lose her. and now that that has blown up in my face i dont know what to do. i told her that we could try couples counciling , restarting our whole relationship, everything! because i just need her in my life. she said she wants to work it out.. but its gonna take alot of time. i asked her when she was coming back home and she said that next week on monday. she wants to spend a few more days thinking. i told hher not to rush. and its all her decision and i have to live with it so for her to take as much time as she needs. i also told her that ill miss her every second that shes gone. after i said all that she said that shed come by this weeknd to let me have some time with our daughter. my question is. how can i make things better if she doesnt decide to come back? some may thinks once a cheather always a cheater but that is not true in my case! i knoe for a fact that ill never do this again. my wife means too much to me for me to lose her completely. i knoe its gonna take awhile forher to trust me but im willing to wait. so... please help what are somethings i can do if she comes back to make this a little easier on her? or somethings to make things better when/ if she comes back home ,
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female
reader, romany  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Well your already doing ok.
I dont know if i'm alone here, but I found it quite easy to forgive him for shagging someone else, its an act based mostly of animalistic tendancies for a man, it was the deceit that done my head in. The lies, and the way he ran circles to hide it from me.
I did eventually get over it, believing he'd not do it again, however when i found out bout number 2 and number 3 i did eventually end relationship. So I think if you carry on as you are, not pushing her, showing her you are truely sorry and not making any demands and being patient with the questions which she still may need answering, then things will be ok, and as long as you dont have a number 2 and number 3 then they'll be no reason for her to leave again.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): Take care of your daughter and let her go out also pay got it send her to the spa
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