A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am a working professional from India.And currently living out of India for work purposes. My financial status is not so great but I do well to take care of a family.Recently, I met a gal and I have been facing a real common issue , but its killin me.I love a gal, who also loves me. we are from different community and castes. I belong to a Scheduled Caste family and she is a Rajput. we want to marry, which seems like nearly difficult..she does not want to upset her parents and marry me going against them.she had tried twice bring my name in her marriage conversation with parents and they get furious.Problem here is - the parents are against her marrying anyone out of rajput caste, and in my case I belong to SC.They tell her that if she marry me, then they will not see her face again.Her parents are really trying their best to get her married. she is been asked to see guys very often( i do not know how long she can reject the diff guys). I do not know how to convince them.Please help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Remind them that castes have been abolished in India since 1950 ! and that by perpetuating caste discrimination they are going against the law and against the very spirit of Indian constitution.
Yeah , I know.That won't help- your in laws are surely not the only ones to carry on this absurdity.
I realize it's difficult , but I think maybe you should convince her, not her parents. If you really love each other and you are sure your relationship is built on solid foundations, - she should choose you. Time is on your side- times are changing, and the caste system is shaking under the blows it has been constantly receiving lately , from the media and society in general ( remember the case of the two tennis champions from different castes ? )
Her parents say they won't ever see her again- but I doubt they'll hold this attitude forever. Eventually, they'll mellow out, as it happens so often in these cases. And if they don't - if they really want to disown her because of
a foolish, backward , illegal prejudice - well, this is a kind of parental love one can do without .
Ask her , if , regardless of you, in this day and age she really wants to agree to an arranged marriage- because I think that's what their parents want her to do.
Of course , I understand that her , and your , situation is difficult , it takes courage,firmness and determination. But you guys in India are very good at these things- that's how you got independence in 1947 .
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