A
male
age
41-50,
*atinoheat
writes:Ok so here is my situation. I had a girlfriend I broke up with recently. She's just now telling me the truth about a lot of things. We are friends but she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me. Well this co worker at work that I de friended beacuse I thought she was cheating on me with him happens to be true now. She has told me time in and time out she didnt like him like that when we were together. Well now that we are friends she tells me that she does like him. Does it bother me? oh hell yes. Everyone said I was in the wrong for telling her she couldnt hang out with him. Everyone kept saying I was the insecure one. And now she tells me shes in a triangle. She says she likes him but he really likes her and doesnt want him like that. She says she still loves me and wants us to work. I just dont know how I can trust her again. I mean people told me on here I was the jealous one when all along I was the one that was right. She swears they never had sex but they have kissed. To me that is cheating. I dont want to live the rest of my life hating the man. He recently tried to aproach me and apoligize. Told me he was done talking to her. Truth is he is still trying to persue her. Its hurting me especially when My ex and I have been talking again. She says shes confused. In my head I dont think she is. Shes already told him off and told him that she likes him but doesnt want to be with him. On the other hand she wants to try and make us work. Im trying to get over her but when she says stuff like that it makes it hard. Im tired of getting hurt. If she loves me so much, like she says she does, than why would she want to be with another guy? Should I try to pusue her? I dont want to give up because I still love her and that would make him. I want her back but I dont want to make her love me. Thats not healthy. We have been having so much fun together her lately. Please help.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 May 2011):
Time to move on. If she's claiming she loves you, but is then saying she's confused, well, that means she doesn't really love you.
In my opinion, she loves neither of you. She's keeping you around as a safer option until some time someone else appears, and this other guy is just the one she really wants but he's obviously not as reliable.
Also, she did cheat.
I think you can leave her in the past and find someone who you can love, and who will return that love. Your ex being confused is the sign you need to get away from her, or you'll wind up playing doormat and in another few years she'll leave you again anyway. Trust me, it's happened before to a lot of people on this site.
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