A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right so it's been a while so i've been hurt by this girl. Long story short, i met her about 4 years ago. She was an immigrant. Striking beauty. Struck up a friendship. Soon I was giving her money because she claimed to be poor, getting by. Drove her places, taught her to drive. Helped her when she was sick. Gave her advice when she asked.Now I know whatcha guys are thinkin. I did this b/c I wanted her to be me girl, right? Nah. I mean, a little, but I knew I was outta her league. I thought we could be friends anyway. Turns out though, that she was richer than me. She was sleepin with rich blokes for cash. Most hurtful tho was that she was tellin 'em same things she was tellin me. Bein all sweetness and light. And she only would see me when she wanted stuff. When I pulled back from givin her things she made excuses why she couldnt see me. I slid down her list fast.OK, so I broke ties with her. Havent spoken to her in a dog's age. But because I'm a masochistic SOB I checked out her facebook page last week. She's got a steady now. Pictures all over the place how they're lovey dovey. Exchanging love all over their pages.I know this guy. She mentioned she liked him when we was friends. Guy was even married at the time. They were off an on. Now he's divorced and they're on all the time.Gotta admit the green-eyed monster kicked me upside the head when I saw this. Spent (i.e. wasted) a whole evening scrolling through her facebook page, getting sadder and sadder but glued to the seat like someone had stapled me butt to the chair. Hated her. Hated him. Hated meself most of all.OK, so here's the q's if ya still with me now:Someone who uses people like she used me, could it be POSSIBLE that she's really in love now, that she's honest and truthful and loyal to this bloke?Can someone who was so disingenuous and unremorseful with me make a good gf/wife to somebody else?OK, I know some of you are gonna say yes. It's ok. Yeah, it'll hurt, but I have always just wanted the truth. If that's the truth--if it's true she could use me but be loyal to another--then I'll take it. Won't like it, but I'll take it!So--whaddya say?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): She`s a self absorbed, heartless, ruthless monster who not only used you and so essentially abused you and you are not the only one who she has hurt immensely. Even if she does care for her current male partner, she will drop him like a hot potato if he stops making life all about her. She is not someone who you should ever allow back into your life because she is unworthy. Karma will take care of her and that`a a fact. FK her! She is beneath you! I feel so sorry for the guy she`s currently with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2013): Leopards don't change their spots. If it is in her nature to be a user she is going to be a user with everybody. Maybe she liked him because he is really rich or has something she wants. In that case if he no longer can provide what she's using him for, she'll drop him like a bag of rocks.
A different scenario, however, is this. In the past I have dated guys who I didn't take seriously for whatever reason. I was probably young and immature. I never lied to them or used them. I simply wasn't interested in anything long term. I might have been wined and dined and nothing really came of it. If they felt used or misled, that certainly was not my intention.
So if she unintentionally crossed you then it is possible she does have real feelings and maybe was just unaware. And therefore might actually have real feelings for this new guy. But if her intentions were calculated and she really is heartless then this new guy is just another pawn in her bag of tricks.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Possible but not probable . Love does have a big healing and transformational power, the problem is that certain people are just not equipped for love, not open to it, they are stuck in "survival of the fittest " mode. So, my guess would be roughly 25% she will not use him, 75% she will use him too- and move to another dumber and richer bloke as soon as she finds him.
BUT : you know by yourself that this is pointless, idle and self destructive speculation. What do you care ? That's their life, hers and the new guy's , it's just their business how they want to live it ( or fuck it up ), it won't affect you. YOU think about making your life happy and your relationship healthy. Which will be easier if you stop immediately any Facebook stalking :)
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Hi, stop worry about whether she is using or in love with another man. Stop beating yourself up. You got used among other guys, suck it up to bad experience and move on. You were smart enough to stop her using you. So its time to throw out yesterdays garbage and move on.
She will use men till she get the right guy that is rich and willing to be at her beck and call. She is aware of her looks and her ability to get guys to give her money. U were just one of them and there are other guys that are still to become her prey.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Great question. Having been there scrolling through endless pages of shit I know exactly where you are coming from. My answer is no, she will use him like she used you. My mind suggests sociopath, always on the look out for another mark and putting themselves first. The woman clearly has problems in her mind, has not been happy growing up, realised she was good looking and decided that the world owed her a living and that she was going to use the good looks to her advantage. She is obviously totally materialistic and the man that offers her the most money and goods is the one she is going to be with. I can really feel your annoyance. She was probably grooming this chap when she was with you. No I don't think it will last and when he has outweighed his usefulness she will move on. I don't think it is possible for someone like that to make a good wife or girlfriend as they will never really give and it will always be a game to them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2013): If someone loves you not even a club could drive them away .Dont waste your time the most preciouse thing you have to give on someone that doesnt care.If someone really loves you you will know no questions you
will know .Hang in there love is coming.
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